Hey guys, I'm travelling in Portugal until end of next week, so my posting in here will be less than usual. Please keep the conversation going without me, and I'll jump in when I can. Also, Skool just added a new live call feature, so I'll find a way to put that to use! Cheers Dan

I was out for a walk just now and saw a couple with a pram (woman was heavily pregnant) some distance away. My instincts said something was off. Got closer and saw the man was giving a drink to the 3-4yo toddler in the pram. As I passed I realised it was a can of beer. This was tough because a) I don't speak czech well and b) how other people parent is none of my business. But I confronted them anyway. Basically said don't do that it's not right. I couldn't understand their response but it was definitely defensive and the man stood up aggressively. I decided to walk away. I hardly wanna scrap a father in front of his child and further fuck up his childhood, or get myself injured when I have my own family to care for. But I'm frustrated. I feel like it wasn't enough. What would you have done?

Generally, the scientific consensus is that confident people score high in empathy; or more accurately, they do not correlate with low empathy. While people in positions of power, or narcissists, have low empathy and yet may also experience feelings of confidence, their idea of “confidence” is - in my opinion - a fragile pseudo-confidence that’s easily shattered by external factors. It's more like arrogance, certainty, and competence. However, I do have a hypothesis that building true self-confidence reduces a certain element of empathy, namely: the emotional sympathy and “caring” reaction. In other words, you care less in that you don't feel others' pain as much. Confident people don’t “care” as much emotionally as low-confidence people do. They’re not as attached to external things and people, yet they are still able to demonstrate cognitive empathy, i.e. they can rationalise other peoples’ behaviour through mentally putting themselves in the other person’s shoes. They don’t get upset about other people being upset, yet are able to comprehend why they’re upset and how they must feel. I noticed this with my own development, particularly during my time as a Probation Officer. In that job, there simply isn’t the mental room and resources available to become upset over every upsetting thing, because there’s too many of them! When you deal with drug addicts and rapists and gang members every day, “upsetting” becomes mundane. You develop a numbness to the horror and sadness. I imagine it’s similar for military and medical staff. You can’t feel much because you simply wouldn’t be able to do your job. You’re also in a type of work that requires the development of self-confident traits, like decisiveness, assertiveness, courage, backing yourself, leadership, and even a touch or more of ruthlessness. It doesn’t remove your empathy, but it does transform it into something more efficient and practical. I’ve known some highly empathetic people - in the emotional sense - and they quite simply struggle to function on a daily basis. They’re the ones who are devastated by the wars they see on the news, and are constantly wrapped up in the social dramas of their friends. If their parents are sick, an empath won’t be able to sleep for the worrying. If their child loses his favourite toy, the overly empathetic parent will grieve more than the kid does.

Hey everyone Today marks my 12th anniversary as a full time confidence coach. Well, I think it’s today but can’t be sure exactly. Anyway… In case I don’t do this often enough, I want to thank all of you who read my newsletters or watch my videos or listen to my podcast etc. - your support allows me to do what I love for a living. Prior to being a coach, the longest I’d last in a position/job was about 12 months before I got bored and either moved on or tried to get promoted. I guess that means I’ve found my thing! It was hard going at the beginning. I started doing it on the side of my regular job for about 8 months, then took the leap and went full time. The first few years were rocky financially and I worked way too hard and was pretty stressed out a lot of the time. Then things smoothed out over time, and now I only get stressed when I’m self-sabotaging. The business itself is now well established, with a core audience (you guys) who are enthusiastic about living with integrity. I used to dream of changing the world, but that was just egotistic bullshit. I’ve finally learned that I should consider myself lucky to even slightly influence a couple of people towards being more confident. It takes everything I’ve got just to coach a few guys and girls to becoming self-confident and living with integrity, and I’ve learned to appreciate that and stay focused on my little tribe. To my paying clients and customers, you allow me to do this work full time and put food on my table and support my family. I never lose sight of my appreciation for you. Not just for the cash you fork over, obviously, but for allowing me to have a privileged position in your life, for your trust and honesty and bravery. You take a risk when you let me influence you, and I’m humbled that you’d allow me to effect the direction your life takes. Most of my own self-development has come from being a coach, because I’m regularly inspired and shamed by my work with clients into holding myself to a high standard. When I first started coaching, I considered myself more “advanced” than my clients. The level of confidence in my clients has since improved dramatically, and now I regularly find myself challenged to live up to the same standards you guys live by.

Hey guys The recording is in the Dropbox folder, password is same as last time. In this final month I'll leave all the recordings there until we're done :) I recommend the Psychopathic Confidence course to back up what we discussed. Or this video Overcoming the Fear of Being WRONG Cheers Dan