The Illusion of Being Awake
Lately something has been crossing my mind again and again⦠Itās this pattern I keep seeing, especially in what we call āthe spiritual communityā (a term I honestly cringe at sometimes, but you know what I mean). We often mistake tools for transcendence. People start doing things that do have power(ayahuasca, shamanic rituals, therapy, moon ceremonies, plant medicine, breathwork) whatever fits their belief system in that moment. And yes, they feel something. Because for the first time, theyāre no longer numb. And thatās beautiful. But hereās the trap: the ego creeps in and whispers, āYouāre awake now.ā āYouāve made it.ā āYouāre conscious.ā But really⦠what they had was just a spark, a glimpse. And instead of staying humble, devoted, open, they crown themselves āhealersā, āspace holdersā, āawakened beingsā⦠all while still deeply ruled by ego, projection, performance, and shadow. Iām not speaking from above them cause Iāve been there. After my first dark night of the soul(and many more since then) I had sparks of light too. But I also have deep shadow. Iām still working through it. I probably always will be. Thatās the path. Thatās what it means to walk it for real. And thatās what breaks my heart is seeing all these āconsciousā circles full of unconsciousness. Seeing rituals done for validation, not devotion. Seeing people bypass their deepest wounds while calling themselves illuminated. We donāt become conscious by doing a few ceremonies or sitting in a circle. We become conscious by confronting the unconscious again and again. With brutal honesty. With devotion. With humility. This isnāt about calling people out. Itās about waking us all up to the truth: Consciousness is not an identity. Itās a moment-to-moment choice. And the moment you think youāve arrived⦠you probably just took another step into the dark.