I read this thismorning, and thought I'd share it in here.. We cannot simultaneously set a boundary and take care of another person’s feelings. It’s impossible; the two acts contradict. What a tremendous asset to have compassion for others! How difficult that same quality can make it to set boundaries! It’s good to care about other people and their feelings; it’s essential to care about ourselves too. Sometimes, to take good care of ourselves, we need to make a choice. Some of us live with a deeply ingrained message from our family, or from church, about never hurting other people’s feelings. We can replace that message with a new one, one that says it’s not okay to hurt ourselves. Sometimes, when we take care of ourselves, others will react with hurt feelings. That’s okay. We will learn, grow, and benefit by the experience; they will too. The most powerful and positive impact we can have on other people is accomplished by taking responsibility for ourselves, and allowing others to be responsible for themselves. Caring works. Caretaking doesn’t. We can learn to walk the line between the two. Today, I will set the limits I need to set. I will let go of my need to take care of other people’s feelings and instead take care of my own. I will give myself permission to take care of myself, knowing it’s the best thing I can do for myself and others.

I recently found myself out of work. The Agency I work for stopped contacting me, and even responding to my calls and messages. This has left me in some real financial stress at a time when I was just breaking free from debt. I started to think the universe was trying to break me. Daft, right? Like the whole fucking Universe gives a damn about me. But that was how I have been feeling. What I feel is worse is that I am procrastinating on finding a new job. I would be thinking about what to do, finding some pathways and saying " I'll do it later". Then I realised that I have spent my whole life ( I'm memory) doing this. I'll do it tomorrow, I'll do it when I get paid etc etc. Now, even though I have become aware of this, breaking free from this is stupidly hard. Even with advice and techniques to help, I find myself not doing anything and suddenly finding it's dark or past a deadline and I feel a sense of failure. It is INFURIATING!!

Most nice guys don’t ruin their marriages by being selfish. They actually ruin them by being helpful. I know this because I’ve done this. Right after my daughter was born, my wife was suffering a lot physically, and I relapsed really hard into being a fixer. This created a massive disconnect between us. While I thought I was helping, I was actually controlling. I was trying to prevent her from having emotions that I found uncomfortable, and that made me build up a lot of resentment too. If you’ve ever walked into your house and felt like you’re having problems dumped on you the minute you walk through the door, that your help is not being appreciated, that the intimacy and your sex life have faded, and you don’t know why this happened or when it started, this interview with relationship coach and intimacy expert Monica Tanner is going to help you sort that out. We’re going to break down something that men completely misunderstand: the difference between fixing and supporting. We’re going to have a look at why resentment builds and how it destroys marriages and relationships, especially for people pleasers, and we’re going to explore how this creates an environment that is not emotionally safe, which is the leading cause of intimacy and connection problems later down the line. Monica is going to help us unpack the chain reaction: how fixing leads to expectations, which leads to resentment, which leads to intimacy issues - and what you can do to break out of the cycle. So get a pen and paper ready, because this episode is absolutely packed with practical tips from someone who really knows what they’re talking about… If you prefer written content, click here to keep reading the full written version on Dan’s blog. Or click on your preferred option below: - Watch on YouTube - Listen on Soundcloud - Listen on Apple Podcasts - Listen on Spotify - Listen on Amazon Audible

Daily Dose of Integrity New full length video out today! This video is part 3 of a 6-part series on how to love yourself. This video looks at the causes of stress, using metaphors like the Stoic dog tied to a cart, and the pointlessness of thrashing around when you're tied to a chair. Stress results from trying to exceed one's capabilities or trying to control the uncontrollable, leading to exhaustion and bingeing on coping mechanisms that exacerbate stress, such as substance abuse or overworking. We'll explore the role that unprocessed anxiety and unrealistic expectations have on increasing stress, and the impact of societal pressures and comparisons with others. We explore the importance of accepting life's challenges and dealing with them healthily. Watch the video here: https://theinspirationallifestyle.com/what-causes-stress-pt-3-self-love-series/

Hey everyone, congrats to us for reaching this milestone that I arbitrarily decided is important. Yay numbers! As a reward for being one of the first 150, each of you can choose one of my books to have for free. Just comment below with the title of the book you want! List here: https://theinspirationallifestyle.com/dan-munros-books/