I am doing this class alongside Doula 101 at IDLM and am not yet in the groove of the routine and missed 2/1 class. I had it in my mind (not calendar) that is was this Sunday. I do have a question as I muddle through the class work. Where do you download the Loss Inventory Tool that is referenced multiple times? I have it in my book but would appreciate a printed version as I’m sure this will change over time.

This is a community for honest, tender conversations about life, death, grief, and legacy. To keep it safe and usable for everyone, we agree to the following: 👉1. Lead with kindness and respect - No harassment, bullying, shaming, or personal attacks. - No hate speech or discrimination of any kind (race, gender, sexuality, religion, politics, age, ability, etc.). - Disagree with ideas, not with people. 👉2. Confidentiality is sacred - What is shared here, stays here. - Do not share someone else’s story, screenshots, or posts outside the community without explicit permission. - Remove identifying details if you’re sharing an example in a teaching context. 👉3. This is not medical, legal, financial, or mental health advice - Nothing in this community replaces professional medical, legal, financial, or mental health care. - You may share your experience (“What helped me was…”), but do not tell others what they must do. - Do not diagnose, prescribe, or offer step-by-step instructions for treatment, medications, or legal actions. 👉4. Crisis and safety - This community is not a crisis service. - If you or someone you know is in immediate danger or thinking about harming themselves or others, contact local emergency services or a crisis hotline in your area right away. - You may say, “I’m having a hard time,” but please avoid graphic details of self-harm, suicide, or violence. 👉5. Speak from your own experience - Use “I” language. Share your own story, beliefs, and questions. - We honor many spiritual, religious, and philosophical perspectives here. - No preaching, converting, or insisting that your belief is the only “right” way. 👉6. Gentle with the details - We talk about death, dying, and grief—but we don’t need gore. - Avoid graphic medical descriptions, violent detail, or anything likely to be traumatizing. - When in doubt, keep it simple and respectful. 👉7. Boundaries, DMs, and emotional labor - Do not pressure other members for 1:1 support, therapy, or “fixing.” - Ask before moving a conversation into private messages. - If you are a professional (therapist, doula, attorney, etc.), do not solicit clients or give individualized professional advice here.

🌿A “Word of the Year” isn’t a resolution with better PR. It’s a north star in your pocket—something you can reach for when life gets loud, messy, or exhausting. It’s not about perfection. It's about direction. 💡 Why one word works Goals can feel like homework. A word shows up in real life: - When you’re about to overcommit - When you’re reacting instead of responding - When you’re tempted to quit - When you’re choosing everyone else over yourself Your word becomes a simple question: “What would my word do here?” ✅ Quick Word-Picking Process (10 minutes) Grab a notebook or piece of paper. Write 3 lists: More of: Less of: Let go of: Circle what has the most emotional charge. That’s usually the doorway. Now ask: What’s the theme underneath?Overwhelm → Focus / SteadinessSelf-judgment → GraceClenching + holding on → ReleaseFeeling flat/numb → Joy / LoveFear + playing small → Ownership / Wildflower 🔥 The 3 Tests (to choose the right one) Pick your top 3 words and test them: 1) Bad-Day TestOn a hard day, does this word help… or shame you? 2) Whisper TestSay: “This year, I choose ___.”If your body softens or your eyes get spicy (teary), pay attention. 3) Behavior TestCan you name 3 actions this word would change? If not, it’s too vague. 🌸 Words already in our community Wildflower • Focus • Perseverance • Joy • Deep Breath • Embrace • Release • Grace • Ownership • Devoted • Steadiness • Peace • Tolerance • Love 👉If you’re choosing from these, try finishing one sentence: “This year, my word will help me practice ______.” 🧷 Make it REAL (not just pretty) Choose 1–2 anchors: - Put your word on your phone wallpaper - Write a daily question: “What would (WORD) do here?” - Pick one micro-ritual (ex, one deep breath before emails, meals, hard conversations) - Do a monthly reset: “Where did I live my word? Where did I drift?” A word becomes powerful when it changes tiny moments. That’s where your year is actually made. 👇 Comment below

Put the kettle on. 😉 You made it here, and that already tells me something important: you’re willing to look at the parts of life most people avoid—death, grief, aging, endings—and you’d rather not do that alone. 👥This space is for people who feel the tug of questions like: - What do I want to do with the time I have left? - How do I carry my grief and still live? - How do I prepare—practically and emotionally—so I don’t leave a mess behind? Here, we talk honestly about living and dying, love and loss, plans and paperwork, spirit and practicality. We make room for both the kettle (conversation, comfort, everyday life) and the candle (mortality, memory, sacredness of our limited time). 👉How this community works: You’ll see different programs and posts here—like 365 — A Year To Live and Advanced Care Planning—but underneath it all is the same heartbeat: - Tell the truth about life and death. - Learn together, not alone. - Take small, brave steps toward living and dying in alignment with your values. -  You are welcome to come exactly as you are: curious, scared, hopeful, tired, grieving, unsure, or all of the above. 🙌Introduce yourself (in a way that actually matters) When you’re ready, say hello in the comments below. You can answer any of these prompts—just what feels right: 1. What season of life are you in right now, in a few words? (Examples: “Midlife and re-evaluating everything,” “Fresh in grief,” “Caregiver mode,” “Aging and taking stock.”) 2. What quietly brought you to Kettle & Candle? A loss, a diagnosis, a birthday, a near-miss, a deep curiosity, a professional calling? 3. When you think about death, grief, or aging, what feeling shows up first? (No need to be poetic. “Terrified,” “numb,” “relieved to finally talk about it” all count.) 4. What is one hope you have for yourself in this space over the next year? (Big or small: “Get my paperwork started,” “Not feel so alone,” “Make peace with a part of my story,” etc.) 5. Is there a small comfort or ritual that helps you feel grounded lately? (Tea, walking, gardening, journaling, music, prayer, sitting in the sunshine…)

Hi hi Roxanne from Trinidad an tobago. Now getting into candle ...an trying to learn as much as I can ..