This is primarily aimed at Mark to offer some insight but I’m completely happy for anyone else to chip in with their thoughts…..without listing every single issue a quick brief Problems in marriage for 5-6 years. I totally admit we are both at fault for that. Not keeping score or who was worse. I felt horrible in the marriage mainly as I felt it slipping away and nothing I tried worked. I was at a terribly low moment, worst ever, and I spoke to and then met another woman. Nothing sexual at all happened. One off moment. But it’s a betrayal of trust. I accept I am at fault fully for that. Wife found out in July 2025. She asked me to move out for a few days then allowed me to return. Emotions were high. Occasionally some intimacy but mainly withdrawal. Through one of those moments….we conceived. And now we have an 8 week old son; adding to our daughters of 12 and 10. In September last year wife told me we are separated. Finito. However there’s been ambivalence since then. Moments of warmth and connection and moments of coldness. Wife has informed me she’s moving out. It’s happening in July. However we have had hugs and cuddles at night. We even had sex 2 days purely. Purely in the moment. To me it feels like it’s not totally totally dead on her part despite whatever she says and the actions she’s now taking. Of course I totally get it’s hard to give any opinions based on a super high level basic history overview but my question was…..even in a physical separation as we are about to embark on….is there genuine chances to reconcile or is it game over?? TIA Adam

Had a great weekend with the wife, although she’s still withdrawn from the relationship and set on separating. We talked, laughed, shared household chores, ran errands together. She even laid down and let me massage her and she fell asleep. I think all of this is the hardest to deal with, bc what does this stuff mean?! Does she want the relationship to work?? It also can make you want to chase, bc that stuff feels good. I’m doing my best to stay in my lane. I’m trying to show up as a man she can count on, and watching for the bids for connection. In my 45 years self improvement is the hardest thing I’ve faced. If anyone has advice or anything similar to share please do.

Hi mark I’ve just recently been separated from my wife of 20 years and last six weeks have been very difficult especially with the kids involved. Basically she told me she’s checked out and as I work away from Home for 7 days at a time it’s taken a toll on our marriage and she’s saying we’ve grown apart . To be honest I didn’t see this coming and it’s a total shock .

What are you struggling with most right now? During our separation, the bit I struggled most with was losing hope. We were stuck in limbo after my wife told me we were done yet we carried on co-parenting, she blew hot and cold with me, often nothing I would do would be right, other times I sensed hope and then it would disappear. What is your biggest challenge and how are you trying to overcome it?

Huge thanks to the men that attended my first webinar in the community - actually it eas my first live webinar ever so I was a bit nervous. There were some great questions and comments. I'll be making this a regular event, alternating topics and sharing tips and tools to help you navigate your challenges. My apolgies to anyone who couldn't make it. I had planned to record it but had some technical issues which made me forget to press the record button. The free eBook will be published here soon and I'll repeat this webinar material next month fir newer members so yoh can cat h it again then. Thanks again everyone. Please make use if this space - post your questions, challenges, wins - and lets make it a really supportive space.