What's something that's true that you wish wasn't? or What's something that's not true that you wish was true?

I almost titled this "The Subtle Art of Giving a F**k" , hahaha, crack myself up. We seem to be getting mixed messages from the world... We hear things like,“Don’t care so much" , “You’re too sensitive", “You’re too invested", "It's not that deep". On the flip side we also hear, "Why don't you care?" , "You seem cold", "You're so detached", "You're checked out". Somehow, caring too much is a flaw...also, not caring enough is also a flaw. So, where is the line? Why “Caring Too Much” Gets a Bad Reputation When people say someone cares too much what they often mean is that they think that a person is too emotionally affected, too invested in outcomes, taking things personally, showing one's heart...Basically, that they're emotionally exposing themselves too much. Caring will absolutely open us up to disappoitnment, rejection, loss, embarassment, grief...some uncomfortable emotions. It means that the nervous system doesn't get to just sit comfortably on autopilot--it means that there's an opportunity to feel things more fully. But here's the thing....caring deeply is often confused with lacking boundaries and they are really not the same at all... You can care deeply (be open to emotional exposure) AND still say no, walk away, hold standards, and protect your peace. The issue isn't caring. It's caring without self regulation and self respect. Why Not Caring Isn’t the Flex We Think It Is On the other end, detachment is often praised. How often have you heard (or maybe said to yourself) “Nothing bothers me.”,“I don’t care.”,“It is what it is.”. There can be a lot of power in that stance, especially if you've been hurt before. Likely this stance came as a result of being hurt before. Emotional neutrality can feel like safety, but is it really? Long term indifference has a cost...When we stop caring to avoid pain, we also end up muting things like joy, passion, meaning, and connection. These are things that are life giving. While not caring/indifference can protect you from heartbreak, it also protects you from depth. It might feel efficient and stable, but it often falls flat. We kind of lose our life energy. Protecting our peace can be valid, but sometimes we're masquerading and really just protecting our ego.

This past week we stealthily crossed the 100 member milestone and I'm so so excited for it! A couple of you reached out about it (thank you!!) and @Chris Wendt 's post here100-members means so so much to me... This milestone belongs to all of you! It truly does! Thank you for showing up, contributing your voices, sharing your experiences, and helping create this space into what it is today. I never anticipated how this little corner of skool was going to take shape and I am so so truly thankful for it and for you all. A gift that I never knew was needed and didn't see coming. My heart is overflowing with joy. The connections formed and nurtured, the conversations sparked, and the growth truly wouldn’t exist without your willingness to engage and support one another and me. This community is possible because of you-your presence, insight, and energy matter more than you know. Thank you for making it the special space that it is. Here’s to what we’ve built together so far, and to everything still ahead!!!!💛 Excited!!!!!

I'd love to get a list going of people's favorite books or current reads! (or if you've written a book yourself, feel free to share that as well!). If you'd be so inclined, please feel free to share in this space. Also, if there's a book you would NOT recommend, share that too. I'm curious! My current reads: The scout mindset How to win Friends and influence people The Bible-trying to make this a daily habit My most recent reads: The rhythm of Life The art of communicating The power of now Podvig Thinking Fast and Slow An Arsenal of Gratitude-Waging War on Mediocrity and Regret aaaand pissed off with a purpose: waging war on Fear(shoutout to @Dan 'Remmy' Stourac --it's written by him and they're both fantastic!--made me want to throw the book on the bed and go do amazing things!). The Bible Dune Crazy busy The Great Alone In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addictions Fight Club Scattered Minds: The Origins and Healing of Attention Deficit Disorder Disappointment with God Kasher in the Rye (NOT to be confused with Catcher in the Rye) Favorite Books: Man's Search for meaning-viktor frankl Elements-Transfiguration of Elijah -anonymous priest in the oriental orthodox church Daring Greatly (and a bunch of Brene Brown's other work--Gifts of Imperfection; I thought it was just me but it wasn't; Braving the Wilderness) Screwtape Letters and the Great Divorce by C.S. Lewis Atomic Habits Brother's Karamazov and Crime and Punishment by Dostoevsky Welcome to the Orthodox Church by Fredericka Matthews Greene (I'll continue adding, these are just top of mind right now! ) Thank you for the inspiration @Dan 'Remmy' Stourac Please add to the list: @Aleksandra Nedelkoski @Anastasia Cocioaba @Andres Mateo @George Arhip @Loren Angelo @Britni Burton @Tim Blacke @Christa Lovas @Anastasia Cocioaba @LaTanya Carter @Dan 'Remmy' Stourac @David Pepper @David Pepper @Dayna Kanouna @Dr. Melissa Partaka @John D @Rachel Featherstone @Julia Groth @William Guy @Kimberly Poirier @Lisa Papiez @Lisa Vanderveen @Mary Seguin @Michael Mcknight @Michelle Mann @Moni Matysiak @Rina Maniou @Ronnie McCabe @Peter Oconnell @Ruth aka Grace Rose @Ryanne Ryan @Tracy Stewart @Adriana Filip @Jennifer Doppke @Anna Lh @Brittany Hone @Chris Wendt @Jose Colon @Yvonne Green @Linda Short @Nicole Johnson @Julie Nelson @Stephanie Riley @Tharuk M @Vasi Smith @Wesley Penner @Chris Wendt

Alright, this little lesson about standards keeps appearing over and over these past few weeks, so might as well put it out here! Let's go! High standards are not about perfection or pressure BUT they are about respect! Respect for our time, our energy, and our potential. Some takeaways: 1.“Everything suffers by submitting to lower standards.” This is true for relationships, work, health, creativity, aaaand self trust. When we drop our standards, quality follows because we are asking less of ourselves than we are capable of. We are asking less of others too. High standards are a form of self belief that indicate that we matter, our efforts matter and that what we're building matters. The standards that we have for how we allow others to treat us/how we allow others in our lives point to the self respect that we may have. 2.“Don’t stray from your magnificence.” This is about alignment. When we lower standards to stay comfortable, to avoid conflict, or to move faster, we slowly drift away from who we know we could be. Grace is important too ❤️We are allowed to rest.We are allowed to stumble. We are allowed to be human. ******Grace is meant to support growth, not excuse stagnation. When grace becomes a way to stay mediocre, it stops being kind and starts being limiting. ********** Time plus consistency plus standards is a powerful combination. Most people quit not because the goal is impossible, but because they stop asking themselves to rise. We do this with others as well... High standards are not harsh/mean.They are a commitment to not abandoning yourself along the way ✨ *Video explains difference between standards and expectations. :) Shoutout to @John D , @Steve Webb and @Dan 'Remmy' Stourac for the writings, the conversations and the thoughtful reflections that inspired this little post. You may not fully agree with everything on this, but the conversations do matter so thank you. :)