A lot of confusion comes from lumping all avoidants together. They’re not the same - and knowing which one you dealt with can bring huge clarity. Here’s a simple way to tell the difference 👇 Fearful Avoidant (hot + cold) They want closeness but are terrified of it. You’ll notice: - intense connection at first - vulnerability, emotional talks, “I’ve never felt this before” - pull away after things feel good - come back when they miss you - feel guilty for hurting you - say things like “I don’t know what’s wrong with me” Their nervous system is torn between wanting love and fearing it. This creates the push-pull cycle that leaves you exhausted. Dismissive Avoidant (cool + distant) They’re uncomfortable with dependence and emotional needs. You’ll notice: - slow or surface-level emotional connection - independence is everything - minimizes problems (“it’s not a big deal”) - shuts down during emotional conversations - rarely takes accountability - pulls away and stays gone - seems fine without you Their nervous system stays in self-protection mode, not longing. Why this matters for YOU Fearful avoidants can feel incredibly loving - which makes the loss confusing. Dismissive avoidants can make you feel unseen - which makes you question yourself. Neither is healed. Neither can meet you fully. But understanding the difference helps you stop blaming yourself. Gentle reminder 🤍 You didn’t imagine the connection. You didn’t “ask for too much.” You were responding to someone with limited emotional capacity. If you’re unsure which one you dealt with, drop a comment and we can gently decode it together. You’re not alone here.

https://youtu.be/nYggceXasSo?si=GJw-A6aka4oFDm55

hey ladies 🤍 just checking in on you how are you really doing today? not the “i’m fine” answer. the honest one. if you’re feeling calm - i’m glad. if you’re feeling heavy, confused, missing someone, or questioning yourself again - you’re not failing. healing isn’t linear and some days hit harder than others. this space is here for: - the days you feel strong - the days you feel sad out of nowhere - the days you miss someone you know you shouldn’t - the days you finally feel clarity if you want, drop a word, an emoji, or a few sentences below. no fixing. no judging. just being seen. you don’t have to carry it alone 🤍

What’s one behavior you swore you were done with but did again anyway? I’ll start: romanticizing red flags because they have good playlists 😭

Being a very observant person can teach you how to see through other people’s masks. It’s called intuition and discernment. 🥴🤣 It’s called reading between the lines and watching people’s behavior. You begin to understand that people can pretend all they want but underneath the mask they created; there’s a deeper truth behind it. Have a wonderful Thursday and remember that authenticity is 🔑!