We’re doing some last minute preparing before our trip to NC for the Vegfest Expos Health and Fitness event! How is everyone else doing?

I got fired from my job this morning.. so I hope that all of you will have the best day ever. That’s it for now… pray for me.

Honestly didn’t want to write this, I erased my initial post but I figured this may serve as a reminder to push through even when you feel like the whole world is trying to sabotage you and your whole existence. STORY TIME: it’s not a fairy tale sadly as this quickly became the biggest thorn in my behind in a long time. So yesterday I had a nice surprise finding myself shared on the Animal Save Movement’s Facebook page (thought it was sweet, didn’t know about it until I was scrolling and saw me back in November as part of their posts, loved it no complaints). But the comment section has had me on a huge crash out since I saw it. All the fat shaming, homophobia, ageism, on top of the vegan hate was staggering. Comparing me to being an ankle grabber, or looking as plump as the chicken they want to eat really messed me up. There may be like two nice comments out of the hundreds of nasty ones. I know there’s lots of bots and meatflakes out there, but to experience that much online hate in one sitting was a lot for me. I already have and still struggle with body dysmorphia, I have been trying to unlearn a lot of self hatred and negativity for a long time. Honestly this whole situation really set me back today and yesterday. I didn’t think I would be triggered as much as I am but I let it derail my workout today and my whole morning. I did work out but I feel like I could have accomplished so much more if I didn’t let my brain take all that in. Yes I know having an online social media presence that’s growing comes with good and bad, but again as someone who’s actively trying to just do the best for longevity and confidence purposes, who has built thick skin to deal with stuff this really took me on a rollercoaster today. I know well enough to not overly feed into it but I was appalled at it all. What I thought was a good thing felt like I was being exposed in some crazy not so fun clown funhouse. I still struggle with photos including progress ones but I have gotten tolerably okay with seeing myself in photos. But I also recognise I’ve made progress, put on muscle lost around 45 lbs of fat. I see results even if I had to experience this hate it has at least for today set me back. Body dysmorphia and unrealistic standards that exist out there, I still struggle with greatly. But it’s a journey like fitness, I can’t expect to have a quick fix or I can’t expect to live up to fabricated fitness or aesthetic standards that are even more elevated in the LGBTQ2SA+ community 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️. I’m an empath, I care too much and as much as I’m an advocate for others including the animals, I often get lost in it myself in a trance.

I fell off track hard last week. I'm disappointed but back at it today. I will never give up. Happy Monday everyone!

I had some random veggie tops after meal prep to add to our salad for dinner tonight. I added beet, carrot, cauliflower leaves and sweet potato’s greens to the baby kale, arugula and mixed spring greens. I topped it with a Blackened Crabless Cake, Chik’n curls, toasted walnuts, and my Pesto Caesar (my daughter’s fave dressing!)