This might not sound popular… And some might say it’s a little harsh… But the reality is, when you find it hard to let go of something that happened in the past, it’s usually because you’re getting something out of it in the present. This is especially true in relationships. Holding on to a “victim story” can give you attention, compassion, sympathy, even entitlement or self-righteousness. And while those things may feel comforting, they also keep you from the love and joy you really want. The truth is, you can’t step fully into freedom and lasting connection while still clinging to the old story. At some point, you have to decide what matters more… Do you want to keep the comfort of the familiar? Or do you want to open yourself to the happiness waiting on the other side? When you let go, you stop surviving your story and start living your life. So let me ask you, what story might you be ready to release?

I have 6 roomies co-ed-not my preference. One is sensitive to smells & controlling. I eat & prepare fermented foods and I cook all my meals. He always looks to see what I'm preparing if in the kitchen and gives a verbal "uh" or "yuck". After I requested he turn down his music one night, he stated he wouldn't but did, suggested I get a tv, went into a tirade about his weeks long grievances (which answered why he would pass me without acknowledgement), spending too much time in the kitchen, taking over the refrigerator & kitchen & that I needed to move out because I am too vocal about house matters. He has enjoyed being the heavy and having the three guys cater to him. He was chiefly responsible for getting rid of the resident I replaced on breaking house rules-smoking, bringing overnight guest, etc. After speaking calmly and then raising my voice he retreated. Any disagreements with the others is always settled. He is avoidant except in the kitchen. It feels like the kid who doesn't play well in the sandbox with others. I just want to drop kick him (he's shorter than me) like a football and let his butt bounce a couple times on the ground kind of like Lucy would do Charlie Brown-childish I know. I felt initially compelled to resolve this but since he feels no need, we pass each other without acknowlegment-weird. There is a good check & balance & safety system with the landlord and the renting company and I tightened up some of my takeover in the kitchen. Going from 1200 sq ft to house sharing requires adjustments. What do we have here?

Eeeeeek! This is awkward… Or is it? It’s very rare to have a relationship and for sex not to be involved at some point. So being able to talk about sex with your partner is important. Your pleasure… Your connection… Your intimacy… Your fun… It all matters! You deserve to have this part of your life feel satisfying and joyful, whether you’re single or in a relationship. Here’s something you might not know… Sex is one of the top 3 reasons couples get divorced or break up. That’s crazy, right? Do you think it would drop out of the top 3 if more people were more ok to talk about it? And the good news is that this is a completely solvable problem! If you’re not having sex right now, or you’re not having enough, or it’s not as pleasurable as you’d like, or you want to mix things up but don’t know how to bring it up… You’re not alone. The truth is most of us were never really taught about sex. It was even more uncomfortable to talk about when we were learning about it than it is to talk about now. So we’ve absorbed our knowledge from movies or TV or culture about what it’s “supposed” to look like? But that’s not how it works in real life! And too often we end up feeling like we’re not getting what we want. If any of this resonates, then I want you to know that the solution is right in front of you… And it starts with having open, honest conversations. I know some will cringe at even the slightest thought of doing that. But wouldn’t it be amazing if talking about sex wasn’t awkward or embarrassing? Just imagine a world where you could enjoy more of it and enjoy it more. So, however you feel about it, here’s my invitation to you… Just start the conversation. And I’ve got options for everyone with this so don’t worry… Pick one person you trust. It could be a partner, a friend, or it could even be yourself in a journal. Pick one and start by saying, “I’d like to talk about what I want and what I enjoy.” The first step is talking. The rest gets a whole lot easier from there.

Consider this… Most of us carry scars from past relationships. Maybe someone betrayed your trust. Maybe you gave your all and still ended up heartbroken. Maybe you were made to feel like you weren’t enough. Whatever your experience, I want you to know this: Your past doesn’t have to shape your future. But if it goes unresolved, it will follow you into every relationship you enter. You might not notice it at first. But it shows up when something small goes wrong, and your instinct is to walk away… It shows up when there’s a disagreement, and suddenly you feel like pulling the plug on the whole thing… And I get it. I really do. It can be hard to trust again when you’ve been hurt. It can be hard to believe this one could be different when all you’ve known is disappointment. But here’s the truth: You might be treating your current or future partner as if they are your ex. You want to be in a connected relationship. But something inside of you is holding you back. And the person in front of you now or in the future, the one who shows up, who communicates, who cares… The one that’s trying to be in a relationship with you… You’re not letting them! And it’s not because you don’t care. It’s because your past has made you build walls instead of bridges. If this resonates with you, maybe it’s time to pause… and reflect. Let yourself be loved. Let yourself be chosen. Stop running from the very thing you've always wanted. You deserve the relationship you dream about. But first, you have to stop letting your past sabotage your present. If this resonates then let me know

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