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5 contributions to The Relationship You Deserve
What you really get out of holding on…
This might not sound popular… And some might say it’s a little harsh… But the reality is, when you find it hard to let go of something that happened in the past, it’s usually because you’re getting something out of it in the present. This is especially true in relationships. Holding on to a “victim story” can give you attention, compassion, sympathy, even entitlement or self-righteousness. And while those things may feel comforting, they also keep you from the love and joy you really want. The truth is, you can’t step fully into freedom and lasting connection while still clinging to the old story. At some point, you have to decide what matters more… Do you want to keep the comfort of the familiar? Or do you want to open yourself to the happiness waiting on the other side? When you let go, you stop surviving your story and start living your life. So let me ask you, what story might you be ready to release?
0 likes • 5d
@Gary Miller thank you for asking. No.
0 likes • 5d
No, thank you.
Can You Help Me Understand This
I have 6 roomies co-ed-not my preference. One is sensitive to smells & controlling. I eat & prepare fermented foods and I cook all my meals. He always looks to see what I'm preparing if in the kitchen and gives a verbal "uh" or "yuck". After I requested he turn down his music one night, he stated he wouldn't but did, suggested I get a tv, went into a tirade about his weeks long grievances (which answered why he would pass me without acknowledgement), spending too much time in the kitchen, taking over the refrigerator & kitchen & that I needed to move out because I am too vocal about house matters. He has enjoyed being the heavy and having the three guys cater to him. He was chiefly responsible for getting rid of the resident I replaced on breaking house rules-smoking, bringing overnight guest, etc. After speaking calmly and then raising my voice he retreated. Any disagreements with the others is always settled. He is avoidant except in the kitchen. It feels like the kid who doesn't play well in the sandbox with others. I just want to drop kick him (he's shorter than me) like a football and let his butt bounce a couple times on the ground kind of like Lucy would do Charlie Brown-childish I know. I felt initially compelled to resolve this but since he feels no need, we pass each other without acknowlegment-weird. There is a good check & balance & safety system with the landlord and the renting company and I tightened up some of my takeover in the kitchen. Going from 1200 sq ft to house sharing requires adjustments. What do we have here?
1 like • Aug 15
Balanced. I believe I am for the most part. I am curious about uncovering the dynamics of a matter much like viewing under microscope.
0 likes • Aug 16
And today the long standoff has been settled. My roommate stated he didn't want to remain distant and angry. What a relief. It takes a lot of energy to be walled off and noncommunicative.
“Is it ok if we talk about sex?”
Eeeeeek! This is awkward… Or is it? It’s very rare to have a relationship and for sex not to be involved at some point. So being able to talk about sex with your partner is important. Your pleasure… Your connection… Your intimacy… Your fun… It all matters! You deserve to have this part of your life feel satisfying and joyful, whether you’re single or in a relationship. Here’s something you might not know… Sex is one of the top 3 reasons couples get divorced or break up. That’s crazy, right? Do you think it would drop out of the top 3 if more people were more ok to talk about it? And the good news is that this is a completely solvable problem! If you’re not having sex right now, or you’re not having enough, or it’s not as pleasurable as you’d like, or you want to mix things up but don’t know how to bring it up… You’re not alone. The truth is most of us were never really taught about sex. It was even more uncomfortable to talk about when we were learning about it than it is to talk about now. So we’ve absorbed our knowledge from movies or TV or culture about what it’s “supposed” to look like? But that’s not how it works in real life! And too often we end up feeling like we’re not getting what we want. If any of this resonates, then I want you to know that the solution is right in front of you… And it starts with having open, honest conversations. I know some will cringe at even the slightest thought of doing that. But wouldn’t it be amazing if talking about sex wasn’t awkward or embarrassing? Just imagine a world where you could enjoy more of it and enjoy it more. So, however you feel about it, here’s my invitation to you… Just start the conversation. And I’ve got options for everyone with this so don’t worry… Pick one person you trust. It could be a partner, a friend, or it could even be yourself in a journal. Pick one and start by saying, “I’d like to talk about what I want and what I enjoy.” The first step is talking. The rest gets a whole lot easier from there.
“Is it ok if we talk about sex?”
3 likes • Aug 14
I can imagine the surprises that would be curtailed from an open and honest conversation. Actually talking about it can reveal so much.
Do you treat your partner like they’re your ex?
Consider this… Most of us carry scars from past relationships. Maybe someone betrayed your trust. Maybe you gave your all and still ended up heartbroken. Maybe you were made to feel like you weren’t enough. Whatever your experience, I want you to know this: Your past doesn’t have to shape your future. But if it goes unresolved, it will follow you into every relationship you enter. You might not notice it at first. But it shows up when something small goes wrong, and your instinct is to walk away… It shows up when there’s a disagreement, and suddenly you feel like pulling the plug on the whole thing… And I get it. I really do. It can be hard to trust again when you’ve been hurt. It can be hard to believe this one could be different when all you’ve known is disappointment. But here’s the truth: You might be treating your current or future partner as if they are your ex. You want to be in a connected relationship. But something inside of you is holding you back. And the person in front of you now or in the future, the one who shows up, who communicates, who cares… The one that’s trying to be in a relationship with you… You’re not letting them! And it’s not because you don’t care. It’s because your past has made you build walls instead of bridges. If this resonates with you, maybe it’s time to pause… and reflect. Let yourself be loved. Let yourself be chosen. Stop running from the very thing you've always wanted. You deserve the relationship you dream about. But first, you have to stop letting your past sabotage your present. If this resonates then let me know
2 likes • Aug 14
I am typically brave. This relationship area, I was going to accept as forever a failure. It goes against everything I share with others especially after spending many years doing my internal work. However, I can see the importance of having a coach with the ability to see the blindspots and hold myself accountable. I have hope again.
Welcome to The Relationship You Deserve Community
(Please take 1 min to read this entire post) This is a community for people who are committed to creating the relationships they truly deserve. For more than a decade, we’ve supported thousands in ✨ Healing past negative relationship patterns, ✨ Learning how to stop arguing and avoid conflict ✨ How to fulfil yours and your partner's needs. And now we’re here to help you do the same. ❤️ It doesn't matter if you are single ❤️❤️ or in a relationship 💕It doesn't matter what kind of relationship you want (It's not gender specfic) Whether you're looking to: ✨ Attract a new partner ✨ Fix your current relationship ✨ Heal your relationship with yourself ✨ Guide others into the Relationship They Deserve... As a new member, get ready for trainings and conversations on topics like: 💫 How To Heal Toxic Patterns 💫 How To Become A Secure Attachment 💫 How To Handle Conflict And Set Boundaries 💫 How to fulfil your and your partner’s needs… ...and so much more! Here's how to get the most out of this community… ✅ STEP #1) Introduce yourself and your relationship Challenge? Share who you are and what your biggest challenge is at the moment in your relationships? ✅ STEP #2) Download " The 3 Problems Stopping You From Getting The Relationship You Deserve & How To Fix IT HERE: Inside, you will find the exact steps that you need to fix your relationship patterns and get the relationship you deserve. Click here to download the guide now ✅ STEP #3) Access Your FREE Relationship Training Here: We work with our community incredibly personally to help them get the relationship they deserve. Start watching the training and taking the first steps to getting the relationship you deserve with our support: https://www.skool.com/the-relationship-you-deserve/classroom We’re super pumped to serve you. As always, no matter what happens Never give up on your dreams.
1 like • Aug 13
I'm Garlenia and my relationship challenge is consistently attracting dsyfunctional, emotionally detached men. I know the origin. I've spent many years healing myself. Just when I thought I made substantial progress I up and get hooked with another one. Detaching from this guy took some work but I got it done. I believe you can't fix a matter that is not thoroughly examined. I've learned a lot but I'm a bit pessimistic now. I am not especially eager to try again and in this case surrounding friends were equally dsyfunctional and helped to contribute to the "train wreck". Fear of repeating this is emotionally exhausting but I am willing to do a deeper dive and untether myself from these sinking weights. I can see how it's impacting my daily living.
1-5 of 5
Garlenia Davis
3
44points to level up
@garlenia-davis-8539
I help create clarity, structure, & stability using administrative expertise, trauma-informed support, AI tools, & faith-rooted wisdom.

Active 11h ago
Joined Aug 12, 2025
INFP
Colorado
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