A video of Megan Fate Marshman came across my YouTube feed today. As I listened, one sentence stopped me in my tracks: “I realized that God gave me this gift, but I love that I discovered it in one of my most vulnerable moments of weakness.” Not simply because she discovered a gift. But because she discovered it in a moment where she felt: Exposed Ashamed. Vulnerable. Far from the person she thought she was. She hadn't gone looking for a speaking career. She certainly hadn't planned for a courtroom sentence to become the doorway to one. And yet, standing in front of thousands of high school students, telling the story of one of the lowest moments of her life, she discovered something God had already placed within her. The vulnerability didn't create the gift. It revealed it. And that made me wonder: What if some of the things we discover about ourselves only become visible when life takes us somewhere we never intended to go? What if the moment that exposes our weakness can also reveal a capacity we didn't know we carried? A voice. A strength. A new area of creativity. Compassion. A new way of looking and seeing. A gift. Perhaps the question isn't always, “Why am I in this difficult place?” Sometimes it might also be: “What might I discover here that I could never have discovered anywhere else?” Remember, a doorway does not always look like a door.... 😉 Listen to Megan Fate Marshman's full story here: https://youtu.be/kMXjwegjrBw

Ok, I'm going to be transparent. Since losing my husband and trying to find my feet, I felt lost and overwhelmed most days - nearly 9 months and I'm still trying to stay afloat. And ONCE AGAIN, things got too hectic and I stopped. I stopped with my pattern interrupt, BUT it somewhere on my TO DO LIST I still had it as a huge priority in the back of my head and I finally completed DAY4! Small, baby steps and I'm super proud of myself. (Even though it feels like the only productive thing I did today - apart from sending out some emails). I personally know how much AVA has helped me in my solo journey so far and I'm determined to finish it! After a recap of my first 3 Days of my Pattern Interrupt, this is my line and realisation: I’d rather risk disappointment than abandon my dreams and play it safe. There is too much at stake.

I choose to be the woman, business owner, mother, wife and daughter that gets things done, even if it means I will be seen. I am leaving behind the pattern of rationalising my fears as believable excuses. Intentionally keeping track of my progress. Set daily tasks for the next day and tick them off every night. To keep myself accountable for my growth moving forward.

Story time...... 😀 There was once a builder who was given a piece of land. She did not choose it. Nor did she choose its soil, its contours, its history, or what had happened there before she arrived. It was simply the ground she had been given. So before she built anything, she studied it. She discovered where it was firm and where it shifted. Where water gathered. Where the earth was depleted. Where roots had once grown. Where something had disturbed the soil. Some parts were fertile. Some needed work. Some surprised her. There were things in the ground she had never known were there. She could have spent her life wishing for a different piece of land. Instead, she began working with the ground she had. She added compost. Introduced organic matter. Loosened what had become hard. And gave life back to places that had become depleted. Slowly, almost imperceptibly, the soil began to change. But the builder didn't wait for the ground to become perfect before she began building. She began with what was there. And while building, she continued to cultivate the ground. Season by season, the soil became richer. What had once seemed depleted began to hold life again. The builder looked at the land and realised something: She did not choose the ground. But she could participate in what it became. So she keeps building and cultivating. And the ground keeps becoming. 🪱🌊 ☀️🌻

I have been postponing to start. Mainly because it's a 7day commitment and my dairy and headspace is already so "crowded" and when I heard the feedback from my clients who did the 7 days I thought... I don't have it in me to start anything that is going to drain me emotionally. I working hard at keep all the balls in the air ... But here I am. Ready to put the balls down, make space for what is required to do because at the end they all said "it's life changing" .... I'm ready