Just being very honest here, in noticing my motivations, and my "deeper thoughts," on a very "down-low" level, what I've got going on is some sort of activity of "needing" to be "the best" in some kind of way. Status attainment somehow. Now, I know this isn't unique to me, and it seems pretty glaringly obvious in a lot of people's cases, but why is it there?? What does it contribute? How come so much of my self-mind activity and so much of what I do ends up giving energy to this? Because let's say it straight right now. For most of us, actual physical survival, ergo not dying, isn't something we have to think about almost EVER. We've got food shelter water this and that to take care of us. Even if it fell apart a bit we most likely wouldn't die. Yet SO much of our energy and attention is being given somewhere else! Where is our attention going? What is it we're doing? Is that what keeps us from being free and happy? I don't know, but I would appreciate some guided thoughts on the matter as I really want to bang a hammer over the head of this issue. It is so much of like, my entire experience! From impulse to emotions, to... Who knows what else. It's just so central to my experience. I even find, when it comes to dedicating my life force to something, if it doesn't gain me status, "is it worth it?" Or some such. I guess all this really feeds into the question, for me, what actually is a Self? What is it's Goal or Purpose?

Thanks to Victor for the “I am an object moving around other objects” exercise. Watching/feeling ME move my body feels useful as a tool to pursue “What am I?”

With Love From @Clint Jones

All, I want to pose a question and perhaps dialogue or at least bring an inquiry to you all. We've all seen how the quality of our minds determines the degree of effectiveness we have to the occuring event, or life. Whether we're calm and clear, can make rational and good-sense decisions or are upset, anxious, angry and make bad ones or don't respond properly. Anyone, especially in this line of work with Cheng Hsin resources, has probably seen this quality in martial arts, and has began to get a touch of this center mind and occasionally it's effectiveness. But the question that I want to pose is if centering the mind in all things, at different times, or all the time, can be a useful event in enhancing the quality of our ability to respond and act properly in our lives outside of only martial arts. With my last post about no-drama and view shifts, I talked about dropping drama and the resulting affects it had on my mind and consciousness, and how my ability to decide, make plans, and work changed. In some strange ways this feels a similar vein to relaxing and centering. What I did was relax and be calm in the face of an apparent "problem" and not reinforce it. I dropped it instead, and my mind aligned to a new perspective, and that gave me the chance to learn something new that I wasn't doing before, and give me the opportunity to do something different. Now, how that relates to center mind is that how I got that was by letting go of the bullshit. Bullshit is an all-encompassing word I use to define the nonsense my mind engages in like ignorant taken-for-granted thoughts and physical tension. The SAME thing I do when I attempt to relax deeper or align with my center. Drop the bs, align, fuck the specific "self"-concerns. And CHANGING this perspective and activity allowed me to become more conscious of something I wasn't seeing before, or at least just a peek. So I guess I wanted to know for our purposes if you guys think there's something to this "center-mind" and it's OVERALL effectiveness, including but not limited to the body and physical mastery. Anyway, thanks for your time, Devin out.

"There is but one thing of real value - to cultivate truth and justice, and to live without anger in the midst of lying and unjust men." Marcus Aurelius