The zoom CI was well done. I did not stop medication‘s, alcohol or caffeine as with the on location CI’s, but it was productive. I had no breakthrough enlightenment but got insight regarding NOW, not waiting for an imagined future. I mentioned to Peter yesterday my frustration while being happy with my life in general and his “then don’t worry about it,” left me smiling. “It’s available now, don’t be a whiny bitch” was so right on and continues to help me align with what’s true versus fantasy future hoping bullshit. The books continue to provide increasing insight. The work is life changing, not “better,” just aligned with what’s true, more effective. I would do another zoom CI though I might prepare more aggressively, stopping caffeine, meditation and alcohol. Thanks for your work and dedication Brendan.

It occurrs to me that with all the shit going on in the world, especially with the US leadership, that kind of thing, that Brendon and Victor and the other guy, I apologize for not remembering his name, are doing this work to better the world as a functional expansion of Cheng Hsin principles. Apprenticeship for the masses? I want to support that!

Just being very honest here, in noticing my motivations, and my "deeper thoughts," on a very "down-low" level, what I've got going on is some sort of activity of "needing" to be "the best" in some kind of way. Status attainment somehow. Now, I know this isn't unique to me, and it seems pretty glaringly obvious in a lot of people's cases, but why is it there?? What does it contribute? How come so much of my self-mind activity and so much of what I do ends up giving energy to this? Because let's say it straight right now. For most of us, actual physical survival, ergo not dying, isn't something we have to think about almost EVER. We've got food shelter water this and that to take care of us. Even if it fell apart a bit we most likely wouldn't die. Yet SO much of our energy and attention is being given somewhere else! Where is our attention going? What is it we're doing? Is that what keeps us from being free and happy? I don't know, but I would appreciate some guided thoughts on the matter as I really want to bang a hammer over the head of this issue. It is so much of like, my entire experience! From impulse to emotions, to... Who knows what else. It's just so central to my experience. I even find, when it comes to dedicating my life force to something, if it doesn't gain me status, "is it worth it?" Or some such. I guess all this really feeds into the question, for me, what actually is a Self? What is it's Goal or Purpose?

Thanks to Victor for the “I am an object moving around other objects” exercise. Watching/feeling ME move my body feels useful as a tool to pursue “What am I?”

With Love From @Clint Jones