Section 2 of my Snapshot just named something I've been calling frustration my whole life: it's actually grief. And I just realized the cycle of "never finishing" isn't laziness. It's my nervous system protecting me. Apparently I don't have a knowledge problem. I have a wiring problem. That changes everything.

Just finished the first section of my ADHD Snapshot and realized something I never put together before: the chaos at home didn't start when my husband died. It was always there. The marriage and ministry were just holding it together. Looks-competent-on-the-outside, mess-on-the-inside finally has a name.

Today was the last session of the 6-week transformation program. Everyone shared their amazing and inspiring testimonials. I cried here and there. Deep down I knew I wanted to share my experience, but the old version of me was in the back of my mind trying to make me feel like I wasn’t safe to share. It was the fear that I wouldn’t know what to say. Or the fear that my words wouldn’t matter. That I wouldn’t matter. But I decided to choose the new me. The one that felt broken on day 1 but is now empowered and transformed. And so I spoke up. I didn’t think I would break down in tears. And I don’t mean 1 or 2 tears. I’m talking about ugly crying. On camera. Putting my entire heart out there for everyone to see and feel. But that is exactly what I needed in that moment. To release the part of me that no longer belonged in this timeline. And I’m just so grateful for that moment for everyone who showed their support in that deeply vulnerable and emotional moment. I’m so grateful to have been able to enroll in this program when I thought it wasn’t possible. The universe made it happen because it was truly meant for me. And I showed up. Every day. And there were times that I didn’t do a check-in, or I didn’t do my workout, or didn’t wash the dishes. But what I learned is that it’s not about being perfect every day. It’s all about coming back stronger and never giving up on yourself. I’ve experienced so many transformations throughout this 7 weeks (5-day challenge + 6-week program). I’ve become more self-aware. I learned things about myself that changed my perspectives about the many things that were holding me back. I started showing myself to the world after years in isolation being afraid of rejection. And I did it vulnerably and proudly and gained amazing connections. I became clear about what my purpose is on this Earth. I put full faith into the business I started but couldn’t launch (I am launching soon 🥰), I learned - more like confirmed - that I am magical AF and there is no one on this planet like me. I was able to make sense of my life. Why things happened the way they did. Why people treated me the way they did. Why I treated myself the way I did. And I learned to love and forgive myself for what I didn’t know then but know now.