1. Finances & Purpose- not feeling safe in the amount of income I have in the moment. Feeling disconnected from purpose in daily life. Finding struggle in the what am I here to do while also bringing in the money I want. 2. Relationships and Friendships. Feeling overwhelmed by communication, or that I can't initiate connection until #1 is solved. 3. Accessing fun and joy. Not fully allowing myself to enjoy life and explore more. Old constructs at play. 4. Action - I'm at an edge of wanting to create more output and feeling unable to take radical action

I get that. Many times I find my foot literally halfway out the door of a situation. I've been practicing either staying all in, or leaving the situation if it really is something that's not for me

Hell yeah man, great work!

It's pretty clear to me that I've been blaming myself for not being enough in my professional life, with how I relate to structure and discipline and that can bleed over to my relationships. The truth is that I have been improvising my entire life. I sometimes get really down on myself and blame myself for not having all these things figured out, but they were never taught or shown to me. I've literally been working with what's in front of me for so long, that I forget the path and the plans I've wanted to explore. I have turned those things into skills though, I believe that improvising has taught me a lot about the world and how to maneuver in it. Improvising is something I love to do musically, but at times the same pattern shows up there too: I get lost in the moment and lose the thread of creation. I can forget myself in the process. Also, I have noticed that I've learned to improvise in other people's worlds, under their rules and structures, and have lost my own. Recently I've really begun to focus on how to operate from my own self, not just fit into my environment in order to get by. I've also been turning the self-blame into taking full responsibility for everything in my life. While it has been empowering, it has also been exhausting. Responsibility feels like blame when I've built habits around avoiding blame. Lots of unwinding and reprogramming going on in the background here.