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7d β’Β
Cold email sequence critique (DTC apparel ecom, service offer)
Hey guys, just finished a copy sequence, which I'm planning to launch soon, but I'd love a sharp feedback from anyone actively running cold email for agencies or selling services in ecom first. ICP: DTC Apparel ecommerce brands in the $1-$10M ARR range using shopify What I'm selling: Email lifecycle system for DTC apparel (capture - welcome - flows - campaigns) Email 1 sl: quick question about {{CompanyName}}βs first visit {{FirstName}}, Quick q: {{observation}} (e.g. βon {{CompanyName}}, the first thing I see is an email capture that doesnβt give first-time visitors a clear reason to opt in.β) Is that intentional for first-time visitors? {{accountSignature}} Email 2 sl: first-visit capture vs paid retargeting {{FirstName}}, Reason Iβm asking: for apparel, the first session is usually the cheapest moment to turn paid visits into owned audience. If visitors leave without opting in, youβre mostly relying on retargeting (more spend) for a second shot. Are you optimizing more for brand-clean UX, or higher first-visit capture at the moment? {{accountSignature}} Email 3 sl: 15β25% of first-time visitors opt in {{FirstName}}, We helped one apparel brand tighten first-visit capture, pushing popup signups into the ~15β25 percent range. Over the same window, email-attributed revenue stayed consistently strong month to month (Klaviyo tracking), and total monthly revenue grew from ~5.8k usd to ~21.1k usd across 4 months. Want me to send a 2-min Loom showing the 3 changes? {{accountSignature}} Email 4 sl: paying twice for the same visitor {{FirstName}}, If youβre happy with current capture, ignore me. When visitors leave without opting in, youβre paying to acquire that attention again. Thatβs why {{CompanyName}} stood out when I checked the first-visit experience. If itβs not a priority at the moment, totally fine. If it is, I can send a quick teardown + the exact popup/welcome setup weβd test first. {{accountSignature}}
0 likes β’ 1d
Thanks for tagging me hommie!! My critique of Robert's original sequence: What's broken: 1) Every email is 30-40% too long "Reason I'm asking" = delete "If you're happy with current capture, ignore me" = delete "If it's not a priority at the moment, totally fine" = delete This is the #1 problem. You're burying the point in politeness. 2) Observation example is bloated Your example: "on {{CompanyName}}, the first thing I see is an email capture that doesn't give first-time visitors a clear reason to opt in." That's 21 words. Should be 5-7 max: "No opt-in incentive shown above fold" "Exit-intent popup only, no inline capture" "Generic 'Subscribe' with no benefit stated" 3) Subject lines lack punch "quick question about {{CompanyName}}'s first visit" β boring, sounds like every agency template "first-visit capture vs paid retargeting" β too academic "15β25% of first-time visitors opt in" β range feels vague "paying twice for the same visitor" β actually decent, but still wordy 4) Proof doesn't scale "$5.8k to $21.1k over 4 months" makes someone running $5M/year think: why am I listening to someone who works with $70k/year brands? Even if that's email-only revenue, you didn't say that. And even if you did, it's not impressive to this audience. 5) Email 2 creates homework "Are you optimizing more for brand-clean UX, or higher first-visit capture at the moment?" Nobody answers this. It feels like you're asking them to diagnose their own strategy for you. 6) Email 4 is schizophrenic You have: An apology ("ignore me") A restatement of pain ("paying twice") A justification ("that's why you stood out") Another apology ("totally fine") Two different CTAs ("quick teardown" + "exact popup/welcome setup") Pick ONE thing. 7) Missing the actual teaching moment You never give them a micro-insight that makes them see their problem differently. It's all just "hey your capture sucks, want help?" 8) Framework is there but execution is soft Email 1 = Pain β (but weak)
10d β’Β
WOW π³ Mindblow what Jay said about Automations + AI here...
Massive shout out to @Jay Feldman for sitting down with me for this powerful 32-min chat on how to scale your business using AI, Automations, and Skool Communities... His advice on generating leads in Skool was insane π³ Check it out here π Thanks again, Jay π
1 like β’ 6d
Live Events!!!
Dec '25 β’Β
π I Made $10K From a 90-Second Video I Almost Didn't Send
If you want to know how you can do the same stick around to the end of this post, give it a LIKE πand I'll show you exactly how you can copy what I did for yourself. The hardest part of starting an online business isn't finding clients. It's having something to sell them that they're actually looking for. Jay calls this the Foot-in-the-Door Offer. You know the feeling. You want to help businesses, you want to make money, but you don't have case studies yet. You're basically asking people to trust you based on... what exactly? And even worse, you're guessing at what they need instead of letting them tell you. ββββββββββββββββββββ π Here's What Happened I sent a super simple white label SaaS video to a business owner who was referred to me by a former business associate. Nothing fancy. Just walked through a few different services I could help with. They wrote back asking about a service mentioned in the video that I had NO IDEA they were looking for. That one video turned into $10,000 in revenue generated. Not because the video was perfect. It was because it gave them a solution to a specific pain they were feeling at the time. This same Foot-in-the-Door strategy generated over $500K in revenue in the first year, and connected me with higher profile clients. If you've gone through Jay's Intro or Copywriting modules, you've heard him break down why foot-in-the-door offers work. This is that principle in action, you stop feeling like you're asking for a favor and start offering value. ββββββββββββββββββββ π Your Christmas Gift From Me (And a Fellow Insider) If you're looking for a foot-in-the-door offer that actually works, with zero fulfillment, I want to help you kick off 2026 with a bang. Here's what we're doing: We'll give you a white-label video, messaging, + offer fulfillment that you can use. All you need to do is some outreach to prove to yourself that sending targeted messaging that solves a prospect's pain actually works...
0 likes β’ 14d
@Ryan Leo have you watched Jay's "Foot In The Door" video to understand how to use it?
0 likes β’ 10d
@Ivan Dubin Level up first and watch the Foot in the Door module
Jan 2 β’Β
π£To the 63 People Who Commented on my Last Post
I didn't script this video. I didn't record it. I didn't edit it. Filled out a form with my offer details, and clicked SUBMIT. Some of you watched Jay's Foot-in-the-Door video. Some of you didn't. You've got two options: Option 1: You've got an offer, you just need the asset - Below is an example of a white-label video I got made by filling out a form in 5 minutes - If you've already got a unique selling proposition & an offer that works, you can get one made for yourself - Send it to prospects - Use it as a follow-up - Let it do the talking for you Comment "Make AI VIDEO" below & I'll send you over the form to fill out to have a video made for you. To qualify you should be making 10k MRR or $100/hour & know how to deploy capital to save time. If you're not making over $100/hour, just spend your time recording your own video or do Option 2. Option 2: You don't have a validated offer yet Stop trying to figure it out on your own. Take this business-in-a-box and start doing outreach using Jay's systems: - Use the video attached to send to every warm lead from 2025 to get them to reengage with you - Two lead magnets that make prospects problem-aware (GBP audit + Clarity Coach AI) - Reciprocity messaging framework from the Clarity Call classroom master classes - AI fulfillment at the click of a button or fulfill with your own services - Mark up the AI fulfillment cost = profit This is what worked for me. It's validated. It's simple. To qualify: 1. Watch Jay's Foot-in-the-Door Offer video 2. Get access to the Clarity Call classroom by attending a Clarity Call 3. Comment "BUSINESS-IN-A-BOX" below once you've done both for Option #2 Pick your path. Either way, stop spinning.
0 likes β’ 22d
@Willman Martinez Can you explain what a foot in the door offer is?
0 likes β’ 14d
@Rick Tambe How are you doing on those 3?
22d β’Β
Custom email buildout
Have any of y'all used Jay's custom email buildout for $97? If so, how was it and was it worth it.
0 likes β’ 14d
@Allera Dawn You should be ready to start sending...... Did you want to get some coaching and guidance from the LGJ team to move faster or are you going to try to wing it?
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@ianryankirk
Implementing the Dyslexic Copywriter's Conversion Flywheel
π² Content Marketing Machines
π¨βπ©βπ¦βπ¦ Build a Following & Community w/ Leverage πͺ
Active 24h ago
Joined Nov 19, 2024
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