Guess I have to get to level 2 now to watch it :)

Brother, I feel this pain. Been there myself. Here’s the hard truth: You can’t make her stop bringing up the past. Trying to control what she says is what got you here in the first place. I cheated on my wife too. For the longest time after, I wanted her to “just move on” because I was “doing the work.” But that was still me trying to control her healing process. What you CAN control is how you respond when she does bring it up. Right now, when she says “25 years it’s been different,” you probably get defensive or try to convince her you’ve changed. That just proves her point that nothing’s different. Instead, try this: “You’re absolutely right. For 25 years I wasn’t the man you needed. I can’t undo that damage overnight, but I can show you through my actions moving forward.” Then STOP talking and actually demonstrate the change. The past keeps coming up because she doesn’t trust that this version of you is permanent. After betrayal and 25 years of patterns, why should she? Your job isn’t to get her to stop talking about the past. Your job is to create such a consistent new reality that the past becomes irrelevant. That takes time. A lot of it. And it starts with you accepting responsibility without trying to manage her emotions about it. The healing happens when she feels safe enough to stop protecting herself from you