Let me take you into a scene I’ve witnessed far too many times. The stands are packed. The gym is electric. Scouts are jotting notes on their clipboards. Parents are sitting on the edge of their seats, waiting for their kid to have that big moment. The ball swings their way… and there it is, the perfect opportunity. And then, they freeze. In a heartbeat, the moment’s gone. The play moves on. The crowd forgets. But you don’t. Because deep down, you know what that hesitation means. You know what it could cost them. I’ve seen this story unfold over and over again, athletes who dominate practice, who have all the tools to succeed, who’ve spent countless hours training, traveling, and sacrificing… only to tighten up when it matters most. When the lights shine the brightest, they disappear. Meet “The Avoider” We call these athletes Avoiders, not because they don’t care, but because somewhere along the line, their brain learned that pressure is dangerous. They start to believe that being seen means being judged. That messing up in front of others means something about their worth. So instead of attacking the moment, they play it safe. They don’t take the shot. They don’t call for the ball. They hesitate just long enough to miss the window. And every time it happens, the wiring in their brain gets stronger. The more they avoid pressure, the more they reinforce fear. Because here’s the truth: practice makes permanent, and that includes practicing hesitation. I once worked with a young athlete who lived this pattern. He was skilled, disciplined, and loved the game. But the moment the stakes rose, he disappeared. By the time his parents reached out, his coach had lost trust, scouts stopped showing up, and his confidence was fading fast. He didn’t need more drills. He needed to retrain his mind. Breaking the Avoider Pattern The good news? This pattern can be broken. It takes awareness, the right tools, and consistent mental reps, just like physical training. Here are three strategies I teach athletes (and parents) to help rewire this response and turn fear into fuel:

I have alot of players and parents ask me in the UK about being recruited for a US College/University?

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