Looking back, it's hard to believe it's been 12 months since I celebrated 7 months of sobriety. Today, at 9 pm, I'll have reached 19 months without alcohol. The journey has been long and challenging, but I'm determined to see it through. I deserve to know what it's like to live life on my own terms, to not give up on myself.

Today while I was talking to one of my friends she called me an attention seeker because I was having a craving for alcohol which I I haven’t drank in a while and she thought I was doing it for attention I then explain how getting paid today is a trigger for me seeing my son who passed shpula tirned 47 months old today and i was grtting intense cravings she said “you gotta stop telling people you wanna buy alcohol. Why would you buy alcohol when you’re 19 months sober?” Which was a valid question I then said to her “No I’m not an attention seeker thanks you have no idea how hard to it is to stay clean nor how hard it is to stay sober don’t come at me saying I’m a attention seeking I’m doing my darnest to stay alive in a mind that wants to die” she said “Still we both know ur not gonna drink so stop trying to worry people it’s not hard not to drink I do it every day just smoke weed and cigarettes” then I said “well you’re not an addict I am” she replied with “neither are you hence why you don’t drink you’re an ex addict now” and that was when I realize she wasn’t gonna get the point that cravings are cravings and they don’t need validation for them to happen I also realize she wasn’t going to understand why I was coming from being an addict because she didn’t understand that I was still an addict even though I didn’t use or drink and I told her “she was pissing me off And I couldn’t cope I was gonna remove myself instead of explaining it to someone who clearly didn’t get it” she said “what I’m pissing you off cause I told you not to drink” I said “ no you just don’t understand addiction and how things work for us” I didn’t have the energy to explain it to her that addiction doesn’t discriminate and neither does Recovery but even in even recovery you’re still an addict you’re just Recovering then I sent the quote “for most of us sobriety is not a one and done decision it is one we have to make over and over again” she then replied saying “ buy the alcohol then if you want you’re old enough but you won’t be ruining anyone’s life but your own” I said ”it’s not the point it’s a craving” she said “so fight it your strong just don’t drink it’s your choice make the right one don’t you have AA support?” I said idk if there is AA support in town she suggested buying myself a gift so I said I might try that she ended the convo saying “my dad was an alcoholic and it killed him” I replied “my dads an alcoholic too and it might kill him as well” then she said good night her ending the conversation like that gave me a better understanding of why she was acting the way she was when she was criticizing my addiction and Recovery weak points i’ve come to the realization that most likely if she doesn’t understand addiction because she hasn’t been to it and it’s probably best jusl disengage conversations about Recovery with her because she doesn’t understand and would probably be the best of the block her for the hurtful criticism about my recovery ❤️‍🩹

It only takes ONE bad experience in your life to slip into ADDICTION. ONE death, breakup, failure, injury, unemployment, home loss etc. So stop judging others who are trying to overcome addiction and mental illness, because that could be You tomorrow.

Yesterday July 30th 2025 I made it to 1 Year 7 Months / 19 Months / 578 Days Clean from destructive Self-harm habits this is a big accomplishment for me marking significant growth and resilience in the face of my longest-standing battle with self-harm addiction. This journey began when I was under 14, over 8 years of struggling with emotional pain and life's disappointments, unexpected losses and challenges that lead to relocating often resorting to self-destructive behaviors. This milestone signifies my progress and determination to overcome these challenges. ​There is always hope, even in the darkest moments. I spent days relapsing, feeling defeated hour after hour, but I finally found the courage to overcome my struggles by reaching out for help. It wasn't easy; asking for help is often the most daunting task. However, I'm grateful I took that step, and I want others to know that dying isn't the answer – overcoming and living is. Recovering from self-injury requires a comprehensive approach that addresses physical, emotional, and psychological well-being your not alone Consulting a mental health professional, such as a therapist or counselor, can be incredibly beneficial in identifying the root causes of self-harm and developing effective coping strategies. Recognizing situations, emotions, or thoughts that lead to self-harm is crucial, and developing plans to manage them can help prevent future instances. Additionally, finding healthy alternatives to self-harm, such as exercise, mindfulness, creative activities, or talking to a trusted friend or family member, can provide a sense of relief and support. Create a support network that truly understands you and your struggles and strengths. Surround yourself with caring individuals, join support groups, or participate in online communities that share your experiences. Make self-care a priority: engage in stress-reducing activities like meditation, yoga, or deep breathing exercises to promote relaxation. Learn self-compassion by treating yourself with kindness, understanding, and patience. To overcome challenges, consider seeking professional help from a therapist to address underlying concerns such as trauma, anxiety, or depression. Additionally, prioritize your physical well-being by focusing on proper nutrition, adequate sleep, and regular exercise. Writing down your thoughts and feelings in a journal can also help you process emotions and recognize patterns. Don't forget to acknowledge and celebrate the all the small milestones in your recovery journey every hour in recovery is a accomplishment. Make every day count one second one heartbeat one breathe one minute one hour one day at a time We Do Recover One Day At A Time All Day Everyday Just For Today Process I Recover Out Loud Because I Almost Died Silently By Myself

Today, I connected with Carla McDill, my former addictions counsellor from 2022, in an effort to gather more resources to aid in my ongoing recovery. As we're currently playing phone tag, I'm eagerly awaiting her return call to further discuss potential support options.