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Dating With Clarity
86 members • Free
9 contributions to Dating With Clarity
8d •
Q&A Tuesday!
HAPPY TUESDAY! I am opening the floor for some dating questions. Comment them down below!
0 likes • 5d
@Shelley Badayos how do I find the modules and I assume it goes over the question I asked right
0 likes • 11h
@Shelley Badayos I went to the classroom section of this and I was unable to find the start here section unless I'm looking in the wrong area
14d •
WIN WEDNESDAY!!!
Hello hello everyone. It's that time of the week again. Time to share some wins! Post em down below 👇
0 likes • 14d
@Patrick White long distance relationship?
Dec '25 •
My intro
Hi, my name is Patrick. I recently joined the group to make new friends, learn how to learn how to date women, and to not fear being rejected, judged, or labeled because of my disabilities.
0 likes • 30d
What disabilities do you have? Yeah reminds me of inspiring motivating stories I read about or know of
0 likes • 14d
@Patrick White BPD is bipolar right?
0 likes • 19d
@Shelley Badayos @Shelley Badayos yeah that's very valid, it reminds me of how my mindset and perspective has changed towards people either being socially awkward or socially inapt or not being exposed to cues. But I know at the same time it reminds me that bringing that up is not the place for it, yeah because the whole purpose of this group is to be solution-oriented and it reminds me that being solution oriented is part of masculinity or it's something that has always been expected of the male gender, because it's a reminder that men get bashed or shamed or criticized for comparing themselves to other people or comparing themselves to the other gender more than the other way around. But I will say this though. It reminds me I got a dismissive response from another guy who gives dating advice, he mentioned this and to other guys, it was in response to guys and men, who have the mentality or mindset that if they ever do manage to improve their dating life or improve their interactions with women, a lot of guys have the mentality in which they will feel forever hurt over past approaches or interactions that went wrong or awkward, resulted in being labeled or perceived as creepy. He said " I totally disagree, if you fix the behaviors that cause women to think of you or perceive you as weird or creepy or awkward or uncomfortable then you will not feel the pain anymore of past approaches or past interactions that went wrong or awkward or made the woman uncomfortable". i found that response to be very dismissive. that guy's response was pretty dismissive, while fixing behaviors helps us moving forward, those past moments can still forever sting - that's just the reality.
0 likes • 15d
@Shelley Badayos in that case I was not blaming women for my problems I was never saying it was their fault, yeah it's just I also feel for other guys since I know I can relate in which they have had awkward interactions with women where they accidentally made the woman uncomfortable or creeped out and we just didn't know, it's just a reminder of the double standard that I've always resented in which men's social awkwardness or socialness is perceived as creepy or weird or uncomfortable by women but not the other way around. I even got these responses when I was having this exact discussion with other people in the dating advice community, the men's dating advice industry, they emphasized with me. "yeah that double standard is real...I've seen it wear down a lot of good guys who are just trying to figure it out. and you're right - women often get more grace in these situations while guys get punished for making honest mistakes, definition of honest mistake: An "honest mistake" is an error made unintentionally, without malice or bad intention, and often in good faith" "You're absolutely right that the double standard exists. Society and people in general, expect men to have perfect social calibration, have perfect understanding of what is right and wrong when communicating, interacting with women, perfect situational-awareness, while women never or very rarely get labeled or perceived as weird or creepy around men for the same awkward shit, awkward behaviors men are capable of unintentionally or unknowingly doing around women"
19d •
Don’t know what to start working on? (Some gold nuggets for Friday)
Hey guys! Happy Fri-yay 🤭 Most men say they want to work on themselves But what they really mean is “I want dating to stop feeling stressful” So let’s make it simple When you like a woman, 1 of 3 things usually breaks down And THAT’S where you start 1) Your nervous system If your body goes into panic around women you’re into, you’ll sabotage without realizing it 👉🏻Overthinking 👉🏻Overtexting 👉🏻Trying to impress 👉🏻Freezing up 👉🏻Settling for “safe” conversations What to work on: Practice being calm while still showing interest That’s confidence Mini challenge for this week: Next time you feel anxious, do this before you talk to her Slow breath in Slow breath out Drop your shoulders Relax your jaw Then speak Your MAIN GOAL IS TO BE PRESENT 2) Your standards A lot of men chase because they don’t have a clear filter. So any attention feels like “this might be my chance” 👉🏻Then you tolerate mixed signals 👉🏻You over invest early 👉🏻You lose yourself trying to keep her What to work on: Get clear on what you want so you stop choosing from desperation Quick prompt: 👉🏻A woman I choose has… 👉🏻A woman I avoid has… If you can’t name these, you’ll keep repeating the same pattern 3) Your social confidence Confidence isn’t a personality trait. It’s a skill built through reps If you only “practice” when it’s a woman you really like, it will always feel high pressure. So you need low pressure reps. What to work on: 👉🏻Talk to people daily with no agenda 👉🏻Build comfort with eye contact, small talk, and leading a conversation Mini reps 👉🏻Ask someone for a recommendation 👉🏻Compliment someone and keep walking 👉🏻Start a 30 second convo and end it first Your real starting point: Pick the ONE that feels most true for you right now 👉🏻If dating makes you anxious start with nervous system 👉🏻If you keep chasing the wrong women start with standards 👉🏻If you avoid approaching start with social reps Comment 1, 2, or 3 and I’ll tell you exactly what to focus on first based on your answer
1 like • 16d
1 and 3, i know that feeling
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