After five days of flu that caused me several sleep deprivation, I finally slept last night. So I felt so happy and energetic during the morning and early afternoon, so I did all the things I was unable to do in the previous days: 🧺 First load of laundry 🚽 Cleaned the toilet 🛏️ Fresh bed sheets 🧺 Second load of laundry 🍛 Cooked a pork goulash Then I just crashed. Energy gone. I had to lay down hoping for 20 minutes of sleep… except the cough had different idea of spending the afternoon. Don’t be like me, saves your energy during the illness recovery 😎

@Emily Satel introduced me to this rule that's made my life so much easier... If a task takes less than one song length to complete: DO IT NOW. No "I'll do it later." No adding to the list. No overthinking. Result: • Inbox stays manageable • Tasks don't pile up • Mental load decreases ADHD brains need friction-free systems. What micro-habit changed everything for you?

Yesterday I felt like a pile of mud. Today isn’t much better. I’m basically a zombie. This flu has intense vibes. Every time I lie down, I start coughing about every ninety seconds. That’s why I didn’t participate in Skool yesterday at all and lost my 30-day streak. Today I can really feel the sleep deprivation. I’ve been awake since 2 a.m., and the best part of my “night” was somehow between 6 and 9 in the morning. As an incorrigible optimist, I try to find something good even in this mess. Here’s what I’ve got: 🎧 When I can’t sleep, I listen to audiobooks. I’ve already finished three this month. 🎮 I can play my Nintendo Switch in the middle of the night, and I rediscovered a game I hadn’t touched in five years. The last save was from spring 2021. 🍾 And being sleep-deprived feels almost like being drunk, so technically I’m saving money on alcohol. Except not really, because I’ve already spent it on medicine. Still. Small wins.

There’s a strange kind of anticipation that makes me stop things before they happen. It’s not fear of danger. It’s the expectation of cringe. ADHD brains are great at pattern recognition. Mine is especially good at spotting scenes that are about to turn awkward or emotionally uncomfortable. When that happens, my brain pulls the brake early. Avoidance feels safer than sitting through secondhand embarrassment. 🎧 For example: While listening to What Alice Forgot by Liane Moriarty, I realized the main character was about to meet children she didn’t remember, children she didn’t even know existed. The cringe arrived before the scene did, and I had to pause and recover. 👾 The same thing is happening now with a sci-fi audiobook by a Czech author. There’s a friendly alien on a human space station, someone who actually saved a human astronaut. She wants to honor him with a alien-like friendship ritual, translated into human language and human customs. I can already sense the imbalance. The alien is surprised, hesitant, polite enough not to interrupt. And I’m sitting there, bracing myself for whatever awkwardness comes next. So I stopped listening. There’s curiosity, of course. I want to know what happens. But there’s also fear. Not fear of danger or sadness, just the fear of feeling embarrassed on behalf of fictional characters who don’t exist.

When feeling bad, I often catch myself thinking about worst things that happened in my life. Everything feels so intense when happening but memories are the thing that comes with the verdict. For me the worst place with the most intensive unpleasant memory was the MRI. I had to lay down, don’t move for almost an hour in a very flat position that made my back hurt, breathe according to the technician’s instructions. The worst part was the noise. Very very noisy, somewhat rhythmic but not quite stable and predictable. I was there, just me and my thoughts that became more unpleasant the longer I was there. When they pulled me out, I was crying and feeling so exhausted I even couldn’t go to dress myself (and I am crying now as I am writing about this memory). When feeling bad, those memories actually help me. At first I have a reason to cry. Then I realize what did I overcome. I did survive.