Thanks for sharing your draft messaging—your intention really shines through! As a fellow coach and small business strategist, I completely understand the challenge of blending results-driven messaging with values-centered work. From a StoryBrand “Customer is the Hero” lens, here's a quick breakdown and my take: 1. Which version is stronger? Both are compelling, but the first version (with the benefits: "without long email sequences, useless ads...") is stronger. Why? It speaks more clearly to the problem your hero wants to avoid. Donald Miller teaches that when we show what’s at stake (and what we help people avoid), our message lands better. The benefits-based version hits the emotional and logistical frustrations head-on. 2. Is there a better way to say the metric? You’re wise to pause here. Instead of "$10K in 90 days", try positioning the transformation with softer precision. Something like: "I help mid-life entrepreneurs and experts increase their income and impact—without hustle culture or digital overwhelm—using a strategic, soulful 90-day plan." You can even use a split: “In 90 days, we’ll increase clarity, simplify strategy, and unlock greater revenue potential—with less grind and more grace.” 3. Have you undermined MDM theory with a softer metric? Not at all. In fact, you’re honoring the “emotional motivation” component of MDM by aligning the mission with what truly matters to your audience. Donald often emphasizes the importance of creating a clear mission that motivates action. For your audience, impact is the motivator—not just money. Your softer metric can still be clear, just value-aligned. 4. Which “without” is more compelling? The first version (benefits) again feels more emotionally engaging. But you could mix both worlds: "...without an email list, paid ads, or content overwhelm." Or punchier still: "No funnel fatigue. No social pressure. Just strategy that sells." AI Prompt Suggestion to help refine the message further: You can use this with ChatGPT or StoryBrand.ai during their 7-day free trial:

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I love that you reference "ethically". Online marketing can feel like trick tactics, so upholding integrity in the buying process is important to me.

Thank you!

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