I came to Stockton with a goal
Originally, it was to spend time with my dad and get into his house. That shifted pretty quickly. It became: just come, observe, and understand the reality of how they’re living right now. And honestly… one day in, that part feels complete. We sat together in his girlfriend’s house, which feels a bit frozen in time, and my dad said pretty quickly: “I’m not a hoarder like you think I am.” And that moment mattered a lot! Not because it “solved” anything, but because it opened the door to a real conversation. As we kept talking, he moved from defensiveness to acknowledging he’s probably on the low end of the spectrum. That’s a great shift. Later, over a very simple dinner (cold chicken and all 🤣), we got on Zoom with my sister, and the conversation continued. And this is the part I want to hold onto carefully… He started talking about a timeline. Cleaning things up by August 2027. New flooring. Maybe updating the kitchen or bathroom. Enjoying the space before eventually passing it on. Nothing has changed yet in terms of action. But something changed in terms of readiness. And that wonderful! Because behavior change, especially later in life, doesn’t start with action. It starts with awareness → then openness → then small willingness. I’m seeing the early stages of that. And I’m also holding this truth at the same time: A good conversation is not the same as long-term change. So for now, I’m choosing two things: 1. Appreciate the shift that did happen 2. Stay grounded in reality about what hasn’t happened yet My biggest concern coming here was his health and safety. From what I can see right now, they both look well, and there are no immediate red flags like mold or anything unsafe. So I’m letting myself breathe a bit. Today I’ll do some work, and then we’re heading up to the foothills together. I’m excited to hand out some more today! If you’re in something messy, emotional, or long-term like this… Progress might not look like a big outcome.