It’s been a minute. And honestly, that’s been intentional. I said I’d stop forcing a daily rhythm and instead write when something moves me—and today, something did. I posted yesterday what my mentor and coach, Wendy Haines, said that really got me reflecting. “Folks change only when there is a compelling enough reason to change.” Sit with that for a moment. Because it’s not saying people can’t change. It’s not saying they don’t want to. It’s saying something deeper: the knowing isn’t enough. It never has been. We live in a world that floods us with information—podcasts on nervous system health, books on trauma, Instagram posts about regulation. And most of us know what we should be doing. We know we should sleep more, move our bodies, have the hard conversation, put the phone down, step outside. We know. But knowing doesn’t move the body. A compelling reason does. Within the Neuro-Somatic Integration™ Framework, this is one of our foundational principles: practice before insight. Not because insight doesn’t matter—but because the nervous system doesn’t change through understanding. It changes through experience. Through felt, embodied, repeated moments that teach the body something new is possible. And here’s the piece that Wendy’s words illuminate: the body won’t move toward that new experience unless something—deep in the system—registers the reason as compelling. Not logically compelling. Somatically compelling. The kind of compelling that you feel in your chest, your gut, your bones. A compelling reason isn’t an argument you win with yourself. It’s a felt truth the body can no longer override. It’s when the cost of staying becomes heavier than the cost of moving. Sometimes that reason arrives as a crisis—a diagnosis, a loss, a relationship ending. But it doesn’t have to. Sometimes the compelling reason is quieter: a child’s face that reminds you what you’re modeling. A moment of stillness where you finally hear what your body has been whispering. A community that makes the next step feel possible instead of terrifying.

I have struggled most of my life oscillating between hypervigilance and collapse. Both kept me safe and were useful for survival. Years of really good therapy have helped me to identify these experiences and patterns. What this looks like today is hypervigilance in work, and collapse in personal life. Difficulty looking at parts that need tenderness, care, attunement, attention - the health of my body, of my emotional and spiritual life, of my relationships with family, friends, community, planet. At work I was putting one foot in front of the other to meet the task - burnt out from 2+ decades of tireless, unrecognized work and holding boundaries and accountability with insecure leadership through significant chronic health challenges until I had to step down to slow my nervous system down. Now in my new career as a therapist I realize more than ever how these extreme patterns leave me unbalanced and depleted, and oftentimes not fully present and available for the important work I am called to do. I’m in the overlapping moment in the spiral of my life where I have an opportunity to integrate all that I have learned and am learning to make small shifts. Within the neuro-somatic framework, engaging in practices that invite and allow for regulation begin to gradually shift our brains out of default mode network to build new pathways of being, of relating, reflecting and reimagining. The practice doesn’t have to be big or intense or strict. I want to highlight a micro practice I have been engaging in for a few months that seems to be scrambling my default network of patterns and unfurling for me ways in which I want to show up for myself, for my community and for the planet. For a few months I have been Earthing. In my backyard which is huge and not cared for. I walk bare feet on the grass for about 5 minutes. At first it just started out without any intention. The more I did it the more I was called to do it. Whether it was a sunny morning or a cold dark wet one, the sensations my feet felt when I walked on the grass, the communication the mycelia were having with my body and nervous system, led to an awakening of the connection I have felt with nature all my life. With putting my fingers in the dirt..smelling it, playing with it, eating it as a child. My renewed connection with nature through this micro practice is creating shifts that might seem small but are huge feats for me!

Last night I had the honor of holding space for the Youth and community that support them at the Youth Speaks Slam Finals. My friend @Darius Parker was the emcee and at the end of the night 6 young people moved on the be the Bay Area Youth Speaks representaitives at the Brave New Voices event where young people from across the country come together for 4 days of slams. While only 6 will be moving on, all 17 showed up and showed out. They give me hope., And while my body is tired my hart is full. The video of the amazing Abayomi whose voice, both singing and words, move me so deeply. What a gift to be able to support and hold space. I want to thank the Hope Reimagined team that has supported each slam throughout the season @Lilya Kamholtz-Roberts @Joyce Lee @Nirupama Lal @Eryn Yuen @Carmalita Johnson @Veronica Ornelas @Cecilia Tavarez . This is community healing. This is powerful and this is what can shape our future. I also added the full video with much better recording. These young people!!!

When You’ve Been Away:The Practice of Coming Back If you’re returning from a vacation like me, a stretch of travel, a hard season, or just a handful of days where life pulled you sideways—and you’re noticing how far away your practices feel—this one is for you! There’s something honest we need to name: practices that aren’t yet embodied are fragile. They haven’t become neural architecture yet. They still require intention, attention, and repetition. So when life disrupts the rhythm—even briefly—it can feel like you’ve lost all your footing. That feeling—“I’m back at square one,” “I’ve undone all my work,” “What’s the point”—is not the truth. It’s shame arriving exactly where recommitting is most needed. And shame, as we know, narrows capacity. It doesn’t restore it. Recommitting is itself a practice. It isn’t what you do before practice begins again. It is the practice. Here’s what the neuroscience points to: embodiment happens through patterned, repetitive, rhythmic experience. A practice becomes automatic—part of the nervous system’s expected rhythm—through steady repetition over time. When a practice is still new, it hasn’t yet crossed that threshold. Stepping away doesn’t mean you’ve lost what you built. It means the rhythm was interrupted, and the nervous system needs a little support to find it again. This is where the spiral matters. The Neuro-Somatic Integration™ Framework describes growth not as a straight line, but as a spiral—Regulate, Relate, Reflect, Reimagine. Each return to the beginning is not a restart. It’s a new revolution, informed by everything that came before. Coming back to practice is never starting over. What you built is still there—woven into the spiral. The path home is shorter than your nervous system thinks, especially when you meet yourself with kindness instead of judgment. The invitation isn’t to leap back into the full routine and prove something to yourself. It’s to choose one small, reliable piece and rebuild rhythm from there. Regulation is sequential. Rhythm comes first. Relationship, reflection, and reimagining follow—but only once the body remembers the beat.

Work update! I am starting to see private clients (adults) as part of my work with Hope Reimagined. My work is based in the neurobiology of stress and trauma, somatic awareness and nature connection. I am sharing here my profiles on Therapy Finder for details on what I offer. I welcome referrals for online across CA and in-person in Oakland. https://therapyfinder.com/therapist/nirupama-niru-lal-marriage-and-family-therapy-oakland-ca