I really meant to go to the meeting last Monday, but I ended up falling asleep. I have had a migraine every single day for the past three weeks. The only time I don't have a migraine is either really late at night at like two or three in the morning, or very early when I first wake up, around five or 6 AM. And I have a freelance job I have to do if I want to be able to pay for my pain doctor and get pain medicine. So I've had to use the little time I don't have a headache to work, and because of that, I've barely been sleeping. The rheumatoid arthritis is also causing me a lot of pain. A lot of the time, I can't sleep because of the pain in my knees. I'm trying to do the best I can to cope. I think about suicide a lot. I even planned it out. But today, I resolved not to do it. I have wonderful friends – really, really wonderful friends, and I know they love me deeply. They would be devastated if I killed myself. I want to be brave. I want to be able to endure the pain so they don't have to endure it. I don't want to be in pain, but I don't want to give my pain to my loved ones either. Anyway, I haven't been to many meetings lately because I always either have a headache or am too tired to function. I'm going to try to make it this Monday if I can. The last time I joined a meeting on Skool, I couldn't get the audio to work so I left. Maybe I'll have better luck on Monday. If I can manage to go.

This space is here for the moments that feel overwhelming, tender, or just plain hard. If something is coming up for you—memories, triggers, emotions, or even just a difficult day—you’re welcome to share it here. You don’t have to make it polished or make sense of it first. You can show up exactly as you are. You can ask for support, vent, sit in the discomfort out loud, or simply say, “I’m not okay today.” We’ll meet you with care, respect, and presence—not judgment, fixing, or pressure. If you’re responding to someone here, please move gently. Listen more than you advise. Hold space rather than trying to solve. You’re not alone in the hard moments. This is a place to be held through them 🤍