My wife and I just completed the section where you have to list all your positive & negative experiences. I took time to make both lists. After you go through the list you need to answer some difficult questions in the book. It can be painful when you go through a negative list together. But the positive side of that is we learn more about each other that we haven't ever shared. To me, it helps me understand my wife better throughout communication or conflicts. As hard as it was it was a good thing to open up about everything & to surrender it to God. If not then I feel it will hurt our marriage if you're hiding your past from your spouse. How will I get complete healing? I started with my negative experiences with being born into a non-Christian home that was chaotic. We also did our checklist.