That terrible feeling when you know you need to say no, but guilt crushes you anyway? It isn’t weakness, it’s your nervous system replaying an old survival rule. 🧠 Therapist Corner: Boundary Guilt Explained - If “no” feels unbearable, it’s often because your nervous system learned early that other people’s comfort mattered more than your needs. - Growing up, saying no might have been punished with anger, disappointment, or withdrawal of love. - Now even healthy boundaries trigger the same old alarm. Key Distinction: - Responsible to people = kindness & respect. - Responsible for people = managing their emotions. ✅ Boundaries don’t destroy connection. Fake yeses do. Try this today: - “That doesn’t work for me.” (no over-explaining) - Ask: “Am I saying yes because I want to — or because I’m afraid of their reaction?” - Repeat: “My boundaries teach people how to treat me with respect.”

Your brain is a survival machine. When it latches onto one negative detail, ignoring everything else — that’s not failure; it’s your nervous system running a protection loop. Example: - One critique at work overshadows five compliments. - One awkward moment in conversation erases an hour of connection. This is called selective abstraction, or the “mental filter.” It’s a loop that quietly reinforces an identity of “not enough.” Rewire the Loop: 1. Catch it: Notice when your mind narrows in. 2. Interrupt it: Take a breath — exhale twice as long as the inhale to calm the vagus nerve. 3. Expand the frame: Ask, “What’s the whole story?” Name at least three neutral or positive elements in the situation. 4. Anchor a new identity: Identity Shift:From → “I always mess up.”To → “I am learning, improving, and more capable than I think.” Identity Drill:Every night this week, write down one moment you zoomed in on the negative. Rewrite it through the lens of your evolving identity. Watch how your nervous system softens over time.

Every trigger follows the same pattern: Step..................................What Happens: Cue ...................................Internal (pain, sensation) or external (tone, noise, situation). Neuroception ...................Body scans → labels it as danger. State Shift ........................Drop into fight/flight or shutdown. Thought ...........................Loop “What if?” “I can’t handle this.” Reinforcement ................Avoidance or overreaction confirms the danger to your system.

Most people try to change their habits by fighting their own body. But your nervous system will always win — it was built to protect you, not to obey a new routine. In CORE, I’ll show you how to design change in a way your nervous system actually accepts, so you stop self-sabotaging. Link is in this post 👇 skool.com/the-remade-core-2542

When your brain keeps throwing up “what if” thoughts, it isn’t truth — it’s your nervous system scanning for danger. That loop is ancient survival code, not your identity. In CORE, I’ll walk you through a short exercise that teaches your body to interrupt the spiral before it takes over. Link is in this post 👇 skool.com/the-remade-core-2542