I’m not sure I believe in luck. But I appreciated Gretchen Rubin’s latest post on how to have a happier work life, where she discussed the role of luck. She said: "…luck plays a major role in every career. Right place, right time. A chance meeting. A serendipitous idea. The key is to increase our odds of getting lucky. Persistence and putting ourselves out there create opportunities for luck to find us. By building relationships, saying yes to new challenges, and sharing our work, we increase the likelihood of being noticed, connected, or invited into unexpected opportunities." I’m thinking back to all the things I could attribute to luck, and Gretchen is right. They were a matter of me putting myself in a situation where I faced some risk and things worked out. I put myself up for raises and awards, submitted journal articles to publications a bit out of my reach, put in proposals to present at big conferences, applied for jobs I wasn’t deeply qualified for. Sometimes it’s worked out, sometimes it hasn’t. I never thought about it as luck, but I did put myself out there. And I continue to do so, because it keeps me from feeling stagnant and it sometimes moves me forward. How have you created opportunities for luck to find you in your work? Let me know in the comments below! And as always, please reach out to me at The Finisher if I can help you move your projects closer to done.

It feels like those who are trying to get things done and failing often fall into two camps: fiercely independent and uninterested in going along to get along, and people pleasers who desperately want to keep everyone happy. We’ll follow up yesterday’s caution about being too nice with more on people pleasing. According to the latest Raw Signal Group newsletter, people pleasing in action looks like this: Anticipate what your boss needs, what your peers need, and how everyone is feeling. Make their lives easier. Say yes. Some fights aren't worth having. Don't rock the boat. Most fights aren't worth having. Get along with your colleagues. Say yes again. Totally understand where they're coming from. No fight is worth having, really. Are you people-pleasing or just an affable, engaged member of the team? No wonder you got promoted. It’s clear how this sort of attitude can hold us back. It’s hard to get things done when we’re so focused on managing how others are feeling. The weird thing is, those who are well in tune with what others are feeling and want to collaborate and make things go well are often highly productive people who excel at finding solutions that make others feel good. They build positive teams which help create positive results. But that drive to work well with others needs to be tempered with an ability to face conflict, so that deeper issues aren’t neglected in an attempt to keep the peace as much as possible. How does people pleasing and conflict avoidance show up for you? Please tell us in the comments below. And if you’d like more support in finishing projects, find me on https://thefinisher.org/ for one on one assistance!

A key factor in getting things done is being okay with not being liked all of the time. Many of us avoid doing things when we know we’re going to have to be firm, direct, potentially unpleasant. Heather Havrilesky has an amazing piece on the prospect of being less nice, and her newsletter yesterday tells the story behind the piece, which used her work without notice or the acknowledgements she requested. As she told the story, she explained: "Vowing to be LESS NICE includes calling people out when they don’t honor their agreements. You don’t work as hard as you do just to give your work away, or to shrug when people who were hired to have your back don’t do so. You honor your work by standing up for your work! … Throughout your life, you have to keep learning how to tell people the truth directly. You can’t panic about sounding harsh or seeming unlikable. You need to know how to ask for what you want. And from time to time, you have to confront people when they’re careless or negligent." This does tend to be regarded as a gendered thing, but I feel like we all struggle with speaking up when we know it will disappoint, upset, or anger others, and that can definitely stop a project in its path. How have you been less nice? Please tell us in the comments below. And if you’d like more support in finishing projects, find me on https://thefinisher.org/ for one on one assistance!

I’m a fan of the Welcome to Night Vale podcast. I initially started listening when my youngest was a baby and I was up nursing him two or three hours a night, and needed something to keep myself from falling out of the rocking chair. The show had just started a few months before he was born and it was a fun, surreal adventure to match the one of having a newborn. That podcast is now thirteen, and the child will be this weekend. As a donor, I get a regular newsletter from the writers, actors and creators of the show. This month, one of the writers discussed the importance of ‘central relationships’ to scripts. She learned in a screenwriting class that most stories are about two central characters and their relationship to one another. She then extended that to discuss the central relationships in her writing for the show itself, specifically one of the creators and one of the regular guest stars, and how those relationships informed and inspired her work. As you go about your work, consider the central relationships that show up in it, and how you help one another to get things done. I know I wouldn’t be where I am without Mr. Starter, or my kids, or my parents, or several professional colleagues that I’ve worked with over the past two decades. Reflect on what these relationships bring you and how they help you get things done. Maybe you’re inspired by those you spend time with. Maybe you want to support them. Maybe you love contributing to what they produce. Maybe you want to make them proud. How do central relationships impact you as you get things done? Please let us know in the comments below! If you’d like more support in finishing projects, find me on https://thefinisher.org/ for one on one assistance!

“The oppressive idea that the activities with which we fill our days must be leading up to something, to some final and finished state of having arrived at our destination in life, if they’re to be worth doing in the first place,” according to Oliver Burkeman, is Anne-Laure Le Cunff’s concept of the tyranny of purpose. We’ve talked about this before with goalodicy, where you let unthinking devotion to your goals crowd out common sense and actually keep you from getting things done. When we are very busy and stressed, we tend to think every moment of our lives needs to lead to productive action, that we have no time to take for friends or family or rest. Instead of cooking a healthy meal, we get takeout. Instead of spending some time walking outside enjoying the sunlight with our favorite dog, we rush through a walk dragging her along while making phone calls and answering emails. If we aren’t devoting every second to the grind, does what we’re doing even matter? Of course it does. If we don’t take care of our health and well-being, we won’t be able to accomplish as much. And, more importantly, we won’t have an enjoyable life filled with even more important things than blindly progressing through our to-do lists. Where has the tyranny of progress shown up for you and how do you combat it? Please let us know in the comments below. If you’d like more support in finishing projects, find me on https://thefinisher.org/ for one on one assistance!