Aug 28 (edited) • 1.『🗣』ɪɴᴛʀᴏꜱ & ɢᴇɴᴇʀᴀʟ ᴄʜᴀᴛ
Incompatibility and Finding Compatibility in Your Relationships
It's a wonderful little trait that has us question ourselves and an other. Can we really mix? Are we really perfect as separate individuals, or consequentially as a whole? What is it that defines us within this role?
.
Compatibility comes down to how well when we two humans can relate to each other, can we live with each other without wanting to change one another. And how do we mean exactly?
.
Well, simply put, if there is something within you that brings out something within another that doesn't work between the two of you, and one of you wants the other to change, and the other is unwilling to do so, that therefore means that you are incompatible, and it is time you move forward without them if that incompatibility is a dealbreaker.
.
Don't get me wrong. Some relationships are worth retaining as some things are just resolved by not resolving them, small things where I am right and you are wrong doesn't matter and love needs to shine through...
.
But there are other things, major things, whereby one absolutely cannot tolerate within another, such as not being responsible for one's emotions and placing that responsibility for emotional regulation unto the other - whilst also creating problems and drama out of nowhere that makes it necessary to resolve their conflicts before the natural flow of the relationship can resume...And the one resolving the conflict wants them to stop, but they won't and don't want to, so the relationship ends - because their unmet need is to be seen in a way that helps them resolve their internal trauma at anothers' detriment.
.
In general, incompatibility comes as a result of one person experiencing a negative, and the other experiencing a negative or a positive, but because the person who is experiencing the negative cannot get the other to view their negative as a negative as well and convert their actions to align with what would give them a positive, it becomes a win lose scenario and in so doing, a lose lose because one person compromises, and the other is happy, and this will take a toll on the relationship short and especially long-term.
.
Playing a zero sum game where nobody wins often happens as a result. A double negative...If I can't have what I want, you can't have what you want either, and this immaturity often arises as a result of unmet needs, and the #1 human need is connection. So why are we doing it? Because we are traumatized...
.
And so, to heal relational trauma, we must meet our needs with another person in a way that we can feel safe - to experience the opposite, whereas previously our needs were unmet and it was likely unsafe to do so. Due to the unresolved issue where a need could not be met, it created trauma. And so, because relational trauma cannot be healed outside the context of relationships, we try again and again to get our needs met until we can find ourselves in a place we can re-experience it in a way that we feel safe.
.
All in all, if we can begin to look for the double positives in our lives, those that would grant us an answer to loving the self and the other, we can partake in the lifelong quest of purest intention and distance ourself from the grand illusion humanity is cast under - separation. To love the self and the other is something you will attempt to do unto your dying breath, and it is best done with accountability, or as I like to define it, love in action.
.
Have an accountable time finding compatibility. :)
.
tl;dr
Incompatibility comes from wanting to change others and them not being willing to change. The answer is in either fighting 1000 fights worth fighting for, or finding the perfect person that doesn't need to change themselves or you for each other...Which will it be exactly? Most likely, a growing relationship...
.
One way or another, you will need someone who is willing to improve and accept feedback, and who will communicate to connect with people so they can be understood, and who will do the same for holding you in high regards with accountability in that as they should toward mutual wellness.
.
Refer to the song by me, "The Social Contract" for a journey into what that looks like. (I made it when I was homeless in Los Angeles for 9 months at age 21 and recorded it in a parking lot.) In part 2 of the program, "Awaken Your Personal Truth - The All-In-One Approach to Self-Awareness", we'll also go over this and a healthy filter for relationships in more exquisite detail.
.
Looking forward to having you for this in the coming weeks! If you haven't already, start filming yourself and posting your #ADtalks here. We'll see you! :)
0
0 comments
Incompatibility and Finding Compatibility in Your Relationships
skool.com/the-embodied-branding-ministry-5658
Film yourself on camera. Self-reflect each day. Transform relational trauma. Transmute knowledge into wisdom. Own Your Voice & Unleash Your Potential!
Powered by