All I can say is "life" is kicking me HARD at the moment. But that being said, I'm realizing the more I release the more capacity I will have! And I've had MASSIVE releases the past few days. And STILL took care of Lilly. So OF COURSE I'm exhausted.. not in a negative way but an authentic way. I've also put more boundaries in. Because she was literally depleting (unnecessarily) the few resources I had. That being said, the FACT is that this morning I was doubled over in stomach pain (not like the appendix thank God but definitely more than mild).. and for ME, being a single mom without reliable help, that feels DANGEROUS. Like I can't do my job as a mom etc. However, the FACT is, despite a part of me wanting to ignore it, I've actually slowed down and let myself feel.. and the pain has lessened. My body is still integrating but holy cow did I have some breakthroughs! One thing I've done that is a NON negotiable whenever humanly possible, is i go to the car now every morning. Today was day 10.. I almost didn't go. But now I KNOW it is like oxygen for me. It is me being consistent for MYSELF every single day. That NO ONE can take away. It is a release valve for me. THIS is how I'm gaining traction when the little bit of help I was promised is not following through. I am opting out of chaos. Opting out of unnecessary frantic energy etc. MY house is and will be a safe place. Peaceful. I did a meditation today and the number one value I came up with was peace. I'm still open to help of course..but no longer at the expense of foundation. A foundation I'm trying to build. I'm reminding myself EVERY tear I shed now, every time I lay down even though I don't think I should have to... I'm getting a head start on summer. I'm RELEASING soo much at such a deep level. Under really stressful conditions. But that's the point. The universe is testing me. I always get water metaphors and this one jist came to me of how you have to swim in the choppy waters before you get past the break.. and it is smooth. I'm IN the choppy waters

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I have something bothering me and not sure if i should talk with my manager because one of my co-workers told me that I did something wrong and I don't know what I did wrong so I am not sure if it from work or personal because we where like friends because he told me he going to text me tonight so I maybe wait till he text me to see what I did wrong and if it from work I going to see my manager. Because yes something happens 3 months ago and I want to see my manager just the only thing it not the same manager that i have now because I didn't find that a joke telling me that I didn't do a good job at my work or if he was my manager he could fired me or he will watch everything I do because he told me it was a joke the next day after I spoken with my manager. Now I am start to not want to go clean in that area when he is there. I feel my body goes in stress mode a little.

Do you guys like doing elliptical or treadmill like a workout