2d • General discussion
Holy cow..
All I can say is "life" is kicking me HARD at the moment.
But that being said, I'm realizing the more I release the more capacity I will have!
And I've had MASSIVE releases the past few days. And STILL took care of Lilly.
So OF COURSE I'm exhausted.. not in a negative way but an authentic way.
I've also put more boundaries in. Because she was literally depleting (unnecessarily) the few resources I had.
That being said, the FACT is that this morning I was doubled over in stomach pain (not like the appendix thank God but definitely more than mild).. and for ME, being a single mom without reliable help, that feels DANGEROUS. Like I can't do my job as a mom etc.
However, the FACT is, despite a part of me wanting to ignore it, I've actually slowed down and let myself feel.. and the pain has lessened.
My body is still integrating but holy cow did I have some breakthroughs!
One thing I've done that is a NON negotiable whenever humanly possible, is i go to the car now every morning. Today was day 10.. I almost didn't go. But now I KNOW it is like oxygen for me. It is me being consistent for MYSELF every single day. That NO ONE can take away. It is a release valve for me.
THIS is how I'm gaining traction when the little bit of help I was promised is not following through.
I am opting out of chaos. Opting out of unnecessary frantic energy etc. MY house is and will be a safe place. Peaceful. I did a meditation today and the number one value I came up with was peace.
I'm still open to help of course..but no longer at the expense of foundation. A foundation I'm trying to build.
I'm reminding myself EVERY tear I shed now, every time I lay down even though I don't think I should have to... I'm getting a head start on summer.
I'm RELEASING soo much at such a deep level. Under really stressful conditions.
But that's the point. The universe is testing me. I always get water metaphors and this one jist came to me of how you have to swim in the choppy waters before you get past the break.. and it is smooth. I'm IN the choppy waters
And I'm not looking to ENDURE. I'm looking to truly HEAL. and THAT is what is happening.
I'm letting go of attachments. To anything and anyone. And I'm saying that *I* want to be a pillar of peace love and joy. Period. Sp I'm doing everything in my power to BE that. And I'm doing an amazing job. But that also takes a LOT of energy particularly with having a narcissist undermine everything I do. But that's part of letting go.
Anyway, I love you guys! I know this pain has a purpose. I see how I need to learn how to rest in order to be able to SUSTAINABLY expand.
I AM the calm in the storm.
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Holy cow..
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Hi guys!! I am SO excited to have you here! This group is for ANYONE who is facing challenges and wants to learn and EXPERIENCE feeling unstoppable!
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