How did I end up here? ; A rant just for myself honestly, a way of commiting myself to going through with learning about AI

Below I wanted to write my thoughts, doubts and shortcomings as a person so that they become clearer to me, so that I come to terms with them, come to accept them and actbipon them. So feel free to read if you wish knowing it might not be useful or interesting to you.

HOW DID I END UP HERE?

It's a question I ask very frequently to myself nearly every day. Then I remember that I am in that particular moment because of every decision and choice I made at every point in my life from gaining awareness of self as a child till that very moment in time.

In the actual now and the present, it seems like the world is going crazy whilst also going through drastic changes in relationships dynamics, the roles of the individuals partaking in that relationship, how information is shared and distributed, how the need for human interaction is being fulfilled, how jobs are shifting slowly toward remote work vs office based, how coding is becoming an essential part in nearly every aspect of our lives and AI is making leaps and bounds in achieving efficiency, providing resourcefulness and analysis, growing up business and more.

Yet for most of the above especially the last two points I feel like I am a spectator of an alternate reality. Most of the time I choose to look the other way, not acknowledging or accepting the fact that remaining a spectator of these changing times is being detrimental to my current goal in life.

I console myself for remaining passive in these changing times with many excuses:

fear of wasting precious time by failing to understand how to integrate AI use in my life/business
not having enough time to invest in understanding and learning to use it
telling myself that I am at the age were I am young enough to know how to use a pc, various softwares and programs, and other forms of technology to make my life and work more efficient yet old enough to still be of the idea that AI is something that only exists in sci fi movies. Thus in turn believing that I am unable to learn and keep up with the rapid advancements being made in the use and development of AI.

And so my question remains. HOW DID I END UP HERE? Why am I writing this train of taught as a post, on this page, at 5AM local time here in Malta for other people to see and knowing that it will be of no use or help to them. I honestly don't know the answer to how, but I know the reason of why. Something in me flipped. A need to stop being a spectator. This sudden switch was caused because of being unable to sleep and/or my mind being exhausted by constantly thinking about work problems and yet being unable to tackle them because I have to do the daily essential tasks previously performed by 3 people, doing them manually, with limited personnel available for delegation and no systems, process or modern softwares available to automate or streamline this grunt work. This results in not having enough remaining time or mental lucidity to actually solve the pertinent problems that arise. I believe AI will be of help and I need to start somewhere and I decided that here is the perfect time and place to start.

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