struggling with my degree (clinicals)

hi guys, ive recently got diagnosed with adult adhd (well it was very prominent in my life, but the anxiety got so intense i just needed an answer at this point). and im currently in a healthcare degree which requires me to practice on my clients and giving them therapy. But recently one of my first encounters on an external placement lowkey got me so overwhelmed, i felt like my body was shutting down, i wanted to cry and i was just shaking. I got overwhelmed with how my senior handled the patients, and I got just extremely afraid. It's to the point where my suicidal thoughts have started to surface and just going on with my daily life is getting harder (i.e. bathing and such).

any tips on how to regulate yourself when you are feeling emotions this intense?

i'm off my medication because the side effects are just too much for me to bare

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