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Why ‘Calm Down’ Doesn’t Work—And What Actually Works
Most athletes have heard it: “Calm down, just relax, you’ll do better.” Here’s the truth: it doesn’t work. Because performance under pressure isn’t a mindset problem—it’s a stress response problem. Your nervous system controls: • Heart rate • Muscle tension • Coordination • Reaction speed • Emotional control • Recovery When stress spikes, your body executes exactly how it’s trained. Trying to “think” your way out of it is like trying to stop a freight train with your hands. That’s where IDUR comes in: Identify – Notice your stress state early: breath changes, tension, vision narrows. Deconstruct – Use performance breathing to downshift and reset physiology. Understand – Study your triggers and patterns. Chaos becomes predictable. Respond – Execute correctly while activated, not just “calm.” Pro Tip: Between reps, plays, or sets, use your breath as a reset lever. Every controlled breath is a nervous system rep. Ask yourself today: - Where does your nervous system break under pressure? - Which phase of IDUR do you need to practice more? Drop a comment with your answers. Let’s train the system that controls performance, not just the skill.
My focus for today.
Today I’m focusing on taking big bites out of life and breathing and chewing ! ♥️
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Dealing with ones's character being questioned!
In my last IG post, I spoke about accepting and learning from failure. I was asked about how to deal with situations when one's character is in question, which leads to being back into a corner, We have all been there and for sure it is tough to be questioned about your character. When we think of character we think of Values and Morals. Sometimes, when someone is questioning your character they are not necessarily questioning you the person, but your values and morals, This can be brought on by their not understanding where you are coming from or their having such strong values and morals of their own that everyone else's is wrong or unacceptable. Of course, there are a lot more reasons that someone may question your character but I find these to be the most common. As to be back into a corner, that raises a whole other question regarding power dynamics. If someone is questioning your character, it is natural to feel threatened and attacked. Most of the time, the "attacker" in this dynamic is utilizing fear and aggression to make the "attacker" question their self-worth and not knowing where to run to, thus the feeling of being back into a corner. I have put together some tips as it relates to how I have dealt with these situations in my life and what I have learned from them. Please feel free to add any additional tips that have worked for you all. And if you'd like to share stories or situations that you have been through please share. Remember this is a safe space for us to breath and grow. 1) The key in any situation is to handle it with care and intention, don't be reactive take a breath or a minute, and respond. 2) Avoid defensive responses, try to listen, and truly understand what is being said to you or about you. 3) If the questioning of your character is being induced because of a wrong that you truly committed, acknowledge the mistake and then "own up to your mistake". 4) Take the opportunity to provide context to why you did what you did by explaining actions, decisions, or events that may have led to the current perception
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