My Inshight on Emptiness and God

Being alone is not the same as being lonely.

Being alone does not mean you are abandoned.

It's a matter of perception - and that's where my mistake lay.

Before my ex, I always had this empty feeling inside me. It made me kinda depressed at times because I thought something was missing. I interpreted it as a lack as if there was a gap in me that needed to be filled (for example, by a woman)

I saw emptiness as a problem, as something negative that made me sad and feel empty.

During the time with my ex, this emptiness felt filled.

But appearances deceive. It was just noise - distraction from the relationship, emotions, and everyday life.

Nothing that would quench the fullness forever. it was like a temporary plug that covered the emptiness but didn't heal it.

After my ex, the emptiness returned, and it made me sad and depressed in some moments again. I continued to interpret it wrong: as loneliness, as abandonmnet, as proof that something was missing.

This wrong perception made me kinda depressed because I thought the emptiness was an enemy that was eating me or trapping me in a hell. I saw it as a lack, instead of something positive, as presence that i just hadn't recognized.

From one day to the next, it cleared up a few days ago. The missing understanding was:

Emptiness = Silence = God = Space = I

You can turn these words however you like - it forms a circle, an infinite loop.

Silence = Emptiness = Space = God = I

Space = I = Emptiness = God = Silence

No matter how you arrange them, they mean the same thing: Everything is one. There is no seperation.

The emptiness is silence, the silence is God, God is the space, the space is I. And I am the emptiness.

It spins in a circle because there is no beginning or end - it simply is.

What is this space?

The space is the free place in me where everything happens. God doesn't sit ''in it'' like a guest in a room. He is the space. And I am also the space because everything I feel, think, or experience only lands in me without me forcing it.

God called me in this space before i even knew I existed. He is the presence that is always there, even if it feels empty.

I misinterpreted the emptiness because I saw it as an absence. As something that needs to be filled. But it was never absence. it was always presence.

God's silence, in which I can find myself.

A few Bible verses that support this:

Psalm 46,10: ''Be still, and know that I am God!"

This shows that silence is the way to recognize God. The emptiness is silence, and in silence you sense his presence.

John 14,20: ''On that day you will realize that I am in my Father, and you are in me, and I am in you."

This emphasizes the oneness. God is in you, you in Him. Like the space that surrounds you and is you. There is no separation.

Psalm 139,7-8: ''Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.''

God is everywhere, even in the 'depths' of emptiness. You can't flee from him because he is the space in which you are.

This insight changes everything. I don't need to fill the emptiness. I just need to accept it. It is not a hell but home. And because everything is one, I am never alone/lonely/abandoned. I misinterpreted the emptiness because I saw it as a lack, instead of God's presence. Now I can feel it anew. As space for growth, silence for clarity, and oneness with God.

Blessed be the name of the Lord

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