Being a single parent is a heroic journey, and you're already doing an amazing job for your children! 🦸‍♂️🦸‍♀️ 🔹 Let's connect! In this safe space, you'll find a supportive network of specialists and fellow solo parents navigating the adventures of single parenthood. 🔹 Dive in by commenting below: Tell us where you're located, one fun, unique thing about your relationship with your kids, and a parent superpower that you have!

Hi Superparents, My apologies for being a bit quiet in here this week! It was a very active one behind the scenes. I was head-down on a big work project (working on bringing more resources to this very community!) and navigating some personal stuff. It reminded me how easily we, as solo parents, can get trapped in the mist when so many things are happening at once. I've noticed this with some of my clients, and I've certainly lived it myself: the everyday grind of solo parenting can be so all-consuming that self-care isn't just on the back burner, it's fallen completely off the stove. The co-parenting drama, school emails, bills, grocery lists, homework battles, work deadlines, and the ghosts of things you want to do... it all merges into a thick 'mind fog'. Before you know it, the kids are in bed, and you're just doom-scrolling on your phone, too mentally drained to do that one thing you promised yourself you'd do. If that was you this week, please know: It's okay. That is a completely normal part of this journey. But here's the thing: we often try to push through that fog alone. The idea of reaching out for help can feel like one more overwhelming task. We might feel embarrassed, like we're failing, or that we'll be a burden. From a psychological perspective, this is often a learned behavior. There's a concept known as the 'buffering hypothesis' of social support. It suggests that strong social connections act as a protective buffer against the negative impacts of stress. However, if you've been exposed to a lot of drama or unreliable situations in the past (sound familiar?), your brain can get wired for hyper-independence as a survival mechanism. You unconsciously learn that it's "safer" or "easier" to just do it all yourself. It's time to unlearn that. It's time to rewire. Reaching out for help isn't a sign of weakness; it's a sign of strategic strength. Most people in our network are willing and often honored to help. You just have to take the leap and ask the question. You'll be surprised by the answer.

Hey Superparents, Let's talk about one of the most powerful, and sometimes overlooked, tools we have in our parenting toolkit: our words. Think about the voice inside your own head. The one that cheers you on or the one that whispers criticism when you’re stressed. Where did that voice come from? For many of us, it’s an echo of the words we heard as children. As parents, we are actively building our child’s future inner voice, right now. The things we say to them, about them, and around them are the building blocks of their self-esteem and their beliefs about what they can achieve. They are always listening. When you say, "You are so kind," "You are a creative problem-solver," or "I love how strong you are," they don't just hear you—they believe you. Those words soak into their very being. But the reverse is also true. If the words they hear are, "You're so clumsy," "Why can't you get this right?" or "You're not good at math," they will believe that, too. You are their mirror to the world. Your words have the power to shape them, making them feel loved and capable, or rejected and inadequate. This isn't just a feel-good idea; it's a core concept in developmental psychology. Renowned Stanford psychologist Carol S. Dweck revolutionized our understanding of this with her research on "Fixed Mindset vs. Growth Mindset." Here’s what it means for us: - Fixed Mindset: This is the belief that intelligence and abilities are static traits you're just "born with." Praising kids with labels like "You're so smart!" can accidentally promote a fixed mindset. They may become afraid to try challenging things for fear of failing and "proving" they aren't smart after all. - Growth Mindset: This is the belief that abilities and intelligence can be developed through dedication, effort, and learning from mistakes. This creates resilience and a love of learning. Our words are the primary way we teach one mindset over the other. We are the architects of their mindset. In her book, Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, Dweck explains, "The view you adopt for yourself profoundly affects the way you lead your life." Her research shows that children who are praised for their effort, strategies, and perseverance ("You worked so hard on that puzzle!") are far more likely to embrace challenges and persist through setbacks than children praised for innate ability ("You're a natural!").

Let's talk about one of those moments that tests every single ounce of our patience. A moment where the solo parent superpower of emotion regulation isn't just nice to have—it's essential. Picture this: You’ve had a long day at work. Your mind is a browser with a million tabs open: bills, what to make for dinner, the permission slip you forgot to sign, the need for new school supplies. Meanwhile, your kids are doing what kids do. They're playing loud, running, jumping, and yelling. And honestly, you're okay with it. They're happy and burning off energy. Then you see it. An open container of kids' paint, sitting precariously on the corner of the coffee table. You calmly say, "Kids, please put that paint away." ...Nothing but the sound of thundering feet. "Kids, please put that bottle away." ...Still nothing. "KIDS, put that bottle away PLEASE!" Your tone is raised, just a little. The frustration is starting to bubble up. They keep running and jumping. And then, it happens. One of them bumps the table. The bottle tips. The paint spills all over the floor. There's a big pause. The running stops. The yelling stops. Everyone is frozen, just looking at each other. Two seconds that feel like an eternity. They know. Your mind starts going a million miles per hour. You want to scream. Your day was already hard, you calmly warned them multiple times, and now this. They’re looking at you, waiting for the explosion. They want to say sorry, but they’re also braced for the reaction. Is she going to yell? Am I going to get in big trouble? One of them whispers, "Sorry!" Now, the ball is in your court. (You also know it’s washable paint, thank goodness). You could lecture them. You could tell them "I told you so!" and send them to their rooms. Or you can choose a different path. You take a deep breath. You let the frustration wash over you and then let it go. Calmly, you say, "Kids, I told you about the bottle because it was in the way and I was worried this might happen. Accidents happen. Please, next time I ask you to do something, I need you to listen."

Hey Superparents, Let's talk about a familiar script, one many of us experienced growing up. Do you remember this? If a child wasn't great at math but was a gifted artist, the focus immediately went to hiring a math tutor. The goal was to fix the "weakness" to ensure good grades and the appearance of being a "good student." Art? That was often dismissed as a cute hobby, not a "real" future. The same story played out on the sports field. A parent might dream of their son hitting home runs in baseball, but the child’s heart was set on the strategy of tennis or the teamwork of football. All too often, the parent’s dream won out. The result? A child who performed averagely in a sport they didn't love, their natural athletic spark dimmed by a lack of passion. This pattern of pushing our children to fulfill our own expectations or frustrated dreams wasn't about what was best for them; it was about our own ego. It was about filling a perceived deficit rather than building on an existing strength. But as solo parents, we have a unique opportunity to break this cycle. We can choose to be the parent who sees, honors, and nurtures our child's innate gifts. From Fixing Weaknesses to Fueling Strengths The core shift is moving from a mindset of "What should my child be doing?" to "Who is my child, and what do they truly enjoy?" When we push a child into an activity that doesn't align with their interests, we're asking them to run on willpower alone. But when we support them in something they genuinely love, they run on passion. That's where they don't just perform better—they thrive, they innovate, and they experience true joy. Engaging in a simple conversation can be revolutionary. Asking "What is it about drawing that you love so much?" or "What feels so good about playing tennis?" gives you a direct window into their inner world. It helps you understand their motivations, and it shows them that you see and value them for who they are. The Psychology Behind Following Their Lead