Hello lover, When Walter entered my practice, he was jumpy and a little all over the place. "I overthink a lot." It was a statement that was clear as day. The anxiety was dripping off him. He could barely hold eye contact. His situation was quite dramatic. He barely had any intimacy with his wife. Not just sex, but even cuddling and romantic touches were rarely a thing. He would get so stuck in his mind that he could only really let go when both of them took drugs. Which started very early on in their relationship. "I would really like to feel that free and strong, without having to use. And I really want us to be closer again." "Ok, and do you know how she feels about your situation?"  His answer didn't surprise me. He had no clue. The drugs and the overthinking were one thing, but the true culprit was poor communication. It's simple. What doesn't get expressed starts living an entire life in your mind. It grows, it distorts, it takes over. And that's exactly why sharing what's alive for you is so crucial. If you don't do it, you disconnect from yourself, and your partner. Which destroys intimacy. This is why week 9 of Reclaim the Fire: the masculine path to polarity, arousal, and erotic leadership is all about relational mastery. How to lead the intimate conversations you're afraid of having. How to instill open and playful communication about your sex life. What to say to a new lover so she feels safer with you than with any other man before you. It's a cliché, but the foundation of any good relationship, including a good sex life, is communication. If there are things left unsaid in your relationship, and you want that to change, join Reclaim the Fire. We start Tuesday, so move quickly. https://gamma.app/docs/Reclaim-the-Fire-yu1lytlghgt6de2 Your intimacy guide, Sanne

Hello lover, The most real advice I've ever encountered to improve your success with women is this quote from modern day Casanova Zan Perrion: "A man who loves women, is loved by women." And one element of loving women, is understanding how they look at the world. A man that knows what she is going through, that can verbalize things she might not be able to or want to, that understands what she has to deal with in life. Well, that man very clearly shows her that he cares about her experience, and not just her looks. That's why in week 11 we go deeper into the Female Lens. How her need for safety underpins everything. What she actually finds attractive, and not what men think she finds attractive. What she's looking for in life, and in love. Tomorrow, we start Reclaim the Fire: the masculine path to polarity, arousal, and erotic leadership. It is not just a course. It's a 12 week deep dive into attraction, female-male dynamics, and much more. But it's also a year long support container. Where you can get as much advice and help from myself and your fellow brothers as you need. But even that is not all. Inside the program we have the Introduction to Power Dynamics. The Erotic Play Vault, a library of 40+ ideas to spice up your intimate life. I'm also adding in guided practices you can do alone, and with your partner. My intent with this program is to give any man the tools he needs to better his intimacy. Regardless of what stage he is in. So if you've been hesitating to step in, just take the leap. You will have my full backing and over a decade of experience to help you out. If you want to know more, or you're ready to join, click the link below. https://gamma.app/docs/Reclaim-the-Fire-yu1lytlghgt6de2 Your intimacy guide, Sanne

Hello lover,  "We will make love to heal the world." I'm not going to lie, I never would've expected that to be her answer. And the thought would've never entered my mind. I was at a strange and wondrous retreat about sexual shamanism, and the trainer was preparing us for a "spreading the love" ritual. Now, I'd love to live in a world where healing it could be done by getting intimate. And maybe if we all had this mindset, it could actually happen. Regardless, what I took away from that ritual were two things: making love for reasons beyond pleasure and connection, and intentional intimacy. That's how the Erotic Rituals were born, which we cover in week 10 of Reclaim the Fire. Plays and practices that not only bring more connection, but are designed to expose more of you. What makes intimacy so wonderful is that it's the one area of life where all of you is welcome. Where you can express your softness, your rage, your childlike creativity, your silliness, and everything else. Yet a lot of us get stuck, and it's not the liberating experience it's meant to be. That is where the Erotic Rituals come in. To help you express and connect more honestly, more real, more raw. It's a beautiful thing, to be fully open. And I wish that for you, for anyone. If you want to be more free in the bedroom, so you can be more free in life, the Erotic Rituals make that happen. Reclaim the Fire starts on Tuesday. We'd love to have you join us. https://gamma.app/docs/Reclaim-the-Fire-yu1lytlghgt6de2 Your intimacy guide, Sanne

Hello lover, Week 8 of Reclaim the Fire is a special one for me, because it’s all about Erotic Leadership. Now, when you hear this term you might think I mean how you lead and act in the bedroom. Or how you create memorable sexual moments. And it started off that way. But gradually it became so much more. Erotic leadership is more than what happens in the bedroom. It’s more than how you communicate about intimacy and sex, or how you design your life so intimacy isn’t a byproduct but an integral pillar of a happy life. Above all, the ultimate form of erotic leadership is deciding that thriving, passionate, liberating intimacy isn’t only worth having. It’s something you can have. That’s the first step everyone needs to make. And it’s often the hardest. So ask yourself honestly. Do I believe I deserve good intimacy? If the answer is no, that belief can change today. If the answer is yes, look closer. Where does your life still disagree with you? Steps need to be taken. Decisions need to be made. But none of that needs to happen alone. That’s why Reclaim the Fire gives you the tools and the space to create the erotically charged life we all want. You already know if this is the time for you to join. So make the decision. https://gamma.app/docs/Reclaim-the-Fire-yu1lytlghgt6de2 Your intimacy guide, Sanne

Hello lover, There was a period during my 20s that I decided to try being fully celibate for 90 days. It needed multiple attempts, but I eventually succeeded. When I started to be intimate with women again afterward, I decided that I would still not orgasm during it. That had some interesting unforeseen outcomes. The women I was with were so confused why I wasn’t coming. Some of them were satisfied with a quick explanation. Others I really needed to convince that this wasn’t because I didn’t find them sexy, or that there was anything wrong with them. Something else that happened was that when I would orgasm, they would be incredibly more intense. Which wasn’t only great for me, but the women loved seeing me enjoy myself, they found it so much hotter than what they had experienced with other men. There’s much more I could write about this. But the bottom line is this: when I started to be more mindful of when I would orgasm and when I wouldn’t, my whole outlook on sex changed. And only for the better. Which is true for all the men who start playing around with this. I discovered that as men we can learn to be multiorgasmic. That we also have different types of orgasms, something most men have never even heard about. That’s why in week 7 of Reclaim the Fire it’s all about cultivating sexual energy and orgasmic expressions. A fascinating deep dive into male sexuality. Want to know more about Reclaim the Fire? You can read more below. https://gamma.app/docs/Reclaim-the-Fire-yu1lytlghgt6de2 Your intimacy guide, Sanne