Hey Brother, The fastest way to get what you want, is to say what you want. It’s almost too obvious to say.  But many of us don’t do it.  Especially in the bedroom. We don’t want to feel weird,  or judged,  and we really don’t want to feel ashamed. Now, when you don’t say what you want,  what you’re really saying is: “I don’t trust that I can handle a no.” So we start pleasing, lying, manipulating or waiting— in the hopes that will get us what we want, without actually having to put ourselves out there. And if you’ve lived like that,  you already know how empty that feels.  I sure as hell do. Now, here’s the shift I had to make: Rejection isn’t failure,  or an attack on your self-worth.  It is clarity. She’s not into something you’re into?  That’s great! Now you can stop losing sleep over it. And here’s the thing most men don’t expect: When a man actually owns his desire,  and shares it without apology,  women are often far more open than he imagined. Because confidence in desire is attractive. The more you share your desires, the easier it becomes. You still won’t always get what you want. But the relief of no longer betraying yourself outweighs any no you’ll receive.  Once you stop seeing rejection as failure and start seeing it as clarity,  it becomes a powerful tool for alignment. And yes, that can be scary. Because finally owning your desire might reveal  that a relationship was never truly aligned to begin with. But here’s the thing: Many couples reach that conclusion  before they ever dared to speak their truth. So before you make drastic decisions,  why not practice honesty first? — Sanne

Hey Brother, Let me tell you the secret to seducing all women. There was a point in my seduction journey that I got convinced that if I got a woman on a date, I would end up in bed with her. This might sound arrogant, but it wasn’t far from the truth. I had learned how to respond to her every question. I knew when and how to touch her. And maybe most important of all, I learned when to shut up and not get in my own way. I got so confident…that I lost my enthusiasm for it. I had practiced my skills as a seducer, to the point there was no longer mystery there. The excitement behind “will it? won’t it?” faded away. That’s when I started my intimate massage practice, where women would come to open themselves to me in spirit, heart, mind and body. That’s when I discovered how naive my ideas on seduction really were. That’s when I learned the true secret to seducing women. It’s simple, but profound. A skill very few man ever develop: The ability to surrender into her beauty!!! All these skills I had developed over the years were useful, sure. But in many ways unnecessary. Because the only thing that truly matters is breathing in her essence fully. Marveling at her grace. Surrendering equally to the wonders of her body, her soul, and her divinity. And making damn sure she notices your savoring of it. This has always activated women, and will always continue to do so. Albert Camus understood it when he said: “I don’t seduce, I surrender.” Casanova knew when he wrote: “I don’t conquer, I submit.” “I am the seducer seduced.” Zan Perrion so eloquently put. This realization reignited my passion for women. Away from “do I have the skills to seduce her?” back to the delightful curiosity of “in how many ways can I be swept away by her?” Women of all ages love these rare men who let themselves be swept away. As they would you, since any man can do this. And you can do it… now! The only reason you don’t, is because you’ve been convinced it has to be harder than that.

There were 30 of us, enduring in the sweat lodge, round 1 just completed. It was a moment where anyone who wanted to share was given the space to do so. Words of appreciation were spoken, requests for extra strength to make it through the next three rounds, tears were shed for lost brothers. The womb of the earth briefly allowed men’s hearts to open, and what followed was beauty. The photographer let us know he would leave the tent after round 3, so he could capture the moment when we would all, hopefully reborn, emerge from the lodge. “Don’t worry, I’ll make sure I only take photos from the waist up.” That touched me, and I immediately felt the tears rising. “I would like to ask that when I leave the lodge, you capture me the way I came into this world. I have been ashamed of my body for so long, of my penis, my desires, and my pleasure. I have put myself down for so long, struggled with erectile dysfunction and feelings of not being allowed to stand in this world as a virile man. And I no longer allow that! This is who I am, and I’m not hiding it anymore.” The plea came out of my mouth woven with fiery passion, while simultaneously holding back and releasing tears. When I think back on it, I immediately feel that complex cocktail of emotions rising in me again. It’s what drives me to do the work I do. Away with shame. Let us be proud of being men. Of our erections. Of our love for women. Let us embrace the softness and warmth of our hearts just as fully as the wildest urges of our pelvis. It’s what constantly occupies my mind: how can I contribute to the systematic dismantling of sexual shame and inhibition? That’s why, starting this Wednesday, I’m beginning a series of unique online workshops where men can speak openly with each other about intimacy, sexuality, polarity, and erotic leadership in relationships. The first session will focus on our fantasy world, and how fantasies are signals of where our soul longs to feel more alive. I’m convinced this will be a deeply valuable exploration for many of us.

Welcome to Fire Unleashed brother, If you’re new to the community, your first step is the “Start Here” folder in the Classroom. It will: - explain what this space is about - show you how everything is structured - clarify what’s free and what requires commitment - guide you toward the next step that fits you 👉 Go to Classroom → Start Here → 01 — Welcome to Fire Unleashed. Take your time. This space rewards intention. P.S. Join our weekly Cosy Coffee Hour on Thursdays. A great way to connect with me and the community. (Comments are disabled to keep this post clear.)

Brothers, There’s the belief that monogamy is the “truest” or “most evolved” way to relate… But the more men (and women) I’ve worked with, the more I see that every relational structure is simply a training ground for the self. Some men need monogamy to finally learn how to open their hearts. Some need a period of exploration to reconnect with desire. Some benefit from celibacy to bring the focus back inside. Some learn more about honesty and communication through polyamory than they ever did through monogamy. We all move through relational seasons, and each season reflects where our soul is still learning, healing, or growing. What matters isn’t the structure itself, it’s whether the relationships we’re in become doorways to deeper intimacy, or distractions from doing our real work. I’m genuinely curious to hear from you: - What relational seasons have you gone through? - What did each one reveal about you as a man? - Where did you meet your growth edges? - Were you consciously exploring those dynamics, or were you escaping something? There’s no right or wrong here, only truth. Share whatever feels real. This is the kind of conversation that actually evolves us.