23d • Fun
THE MESSY MIDDLE
I shared this in my "Deep" group a few minutes ago and I thought I'd share it here as well for those who are thought ponderers ... let me know your thoughts!
THE MIDDLE FEELS MESSY. IT’S ALSO WHERE THE REAL TRANSFORMATION HAPPENS.
This isn’t about before-and-after photos. It’s about the in-between — the space where you’re no longer who you were and not yet who you’re becoming. It’s about time collapsing, how past, present, and future are always happening at once. That’s where real work and the real becoming live.
The woman you see in 2021 wasn’t separate from the woman in 2023 or the one you see now in 2025. She carried pieces of both who she had been and who she envisioned becoming. That’s true for all of us.
There isn’t really a “finish line.” Growth isn’t linear. Every transition is both an ending and a beginning.
- You are right where you are supposed to be.
- Life happens for you, not to you.
- Support from the outside (a trainer, tools, community) matters, but no one can do the inner work for you.
- Letting go of grief, jobs, old identities, out-lived friendships and family, expectations collapse timelines and opens space for what’s next.
This collage isn’t about weight loss or aesthetics. It’s about how each version of me reflects my choices and my actions:
- To drink more water, eat differently, use infrared, step on the vibration plate, begin personal training.
- To leave corporate. To grieve becoming a widow openly. To keep walking even through loss.
- To look inward when the world felt chaotic and to respond with love and gratitude instead of waiting for others in systems to fix it.
And here’s one truth I don’t take lightly. In 2022, my knee pain was so bad I could see myself heading toward disability. By mid-2023, that almost became my reality until I chose differently. That moment taught me no outside system was going to save me. The choice was mine.
Here’s the truth. So much of what we see in the world — poverty, division, homelessness — is real and heartbreaking. But the answer isn’t only in policies or protests. It begins within us. What if, instead of staying focused on how others should change, we turned with curiosity toward our own inner reactions? What does this mirror back to me? If I feel anger, and I look in a mirror, where am I still carrying that anger toward myself? And how can I soften it with love and gratitude instead?
And if you’re ready for a deeper layer: what if the “world” you see isn’t the whole picture at all, but a game built on rules you were taught to follow? The more I clung to those rules, the more stuck I felt. The more I chose love and gratitude, the more freedom I created within myself and in what I’m here to help rebuild.
Sometimes choices look like tearing, literally and figuratively. In the gym, a muscle must tear under load to rebuild it stronger. In life, we must sometimes let old structures break so new strength can grow. I’ve been tearing and rebuilding physically, emotionally, spiritually and that process is how the next version of me is born.
When you look in the mirror today, remember who you’ll be in 2026 is already inside you. The energy you choose now, the actions you take now, the way you respond to yourself now… that’s what creates the future version of you and the new version of the world.
The middle will never look polished. It’s awkward, raw, and yes, sometimes lonely. But it’s the training ground. Just like a muscle must tear to rebuild stronger, we must let old structures and old rules break down so new strength and freedom can grow.
And here’s the deeper truth. The “world” most people think is real is just the game and the rules we were taught. The moment we stop waiting on systems and start bringing love and gratitude inward, we step out of the game and into freedom.
That’s why the middle matters. It’s where the tearing and rebuilding happens. It’s where you stop being who you were and start becoming who you’re meant to be. And when you live from that space, the outside world reflects it back in ways that deepen connection.
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THE MESSY MIDDLE
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A free community for women and men 40+ navigating fatigue, grief, aging or menopause — with tools to begin healing body, mind, and spirit.
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