@Angie Bergen thank you so much!!! I am doing so many of these things to keep me going. The last few weeks have been a lot of purging and either throwing or donating items. One of the most interesting parts which I want to write a blog about is how things which helped me get through the first year (e.g. some lamps I saw in the bedroom, even though I didn't use) reminded me of the divorce I went through over 20 years ago and they reminded me I had the financial strength and means to make it through. I donated them a week ago, and so in addition to grief with my deceased husband, I also let go of grief from my first husband and the divorce. There are so many fascinating layers to letting go on a mental/spiritual/soul level I hadn't considered. Good news for me, though, is I think I found a friend a yesterday who is going to buy my 2001 Toyota Avalon which I no longer drive and therefore can't get keep the battery charged! It will save me from paying for insurance on it monthly AND help me heal once the sale is finalized.

How Time Works I’ve been sitting with how time really works. We often think of ourselves moving through time like travelers on a straight road. But what I feel more deeply now is this: time moves around us. It’s like a river flowing past a boat. The only point of power is “now,” the water brushing against the hull in this moment. The past is the water that has already moved downstream. The future is the water still to come. But the only place we can truly touch, steer, and choose is the present. That’s where my story has been guiding me. When my mother carried me, she held another name in her heart. If I had been a boy, she would have named me Jason, a name that means healer. In myth, Jason quests for the "Golden Fleece," chasing worth and healing through trial and proof. But I was born Stephanie, which means "Crowned One," and "Victory,": a reminder that my path would not be about chasing worthiness outside of myself but about remembering it was already crowned within me. And now I see I didn’t miss Jason’s path. I am 'Jason' in a 'Stephanie' way, with healing and victory braided together. That thread is alive in all the names and companions woven into my journey, which I am copying and pasting straight from AI: >Sailing to Health — because the river itself has been my teacher. >Energy, Relief & Healing — because each time I chose love over fear, release over clinging, that is what flowed back to me. >Glen, my 'glen' (fertile valley), who walked with me in love until the river carried him into another form. He is still part of my current. >Sabrina, the car he named, who carries me forward as though the river itself has wheels. >Jedi, who embodies wisdom, discipline, and light in the midst of challenge — reminding me to trust the unseen currents. >Luna, whose name is moonlight, mystery, and cycles — reminding me that not all growth is visible at once, and that shadow and light are both part of wholeness. Together they are not just feline guardians, but teachers.

@Chuck Ellis I will send a message with the original link once I find it as it is specific to how it works. For most things, I use Claude. For other things, I use two different, specific things in ChatGPT. This particular one is The Architect. However, I have a link somewhere and then a few details on how I started using it when I did. The trick with AI photos like this I've learned is that after you ask it to create one, be very specific and tell it to keep everything the same except this one detail and then change that otherwise it will start rendering from scratch again. I will message when I get that link.

@Angie Bergen thank you so much for commenting and sharing. Yes! Showing up not easy and it is simple at the same time. I look forward to going to physical training sessions now because I feel it is a place where I now allow myself to be in control of the action taken to become a stronger version of me. A related skill I am figuring out is how to translate this into other areas of what I am doing where I don't always feel in control or I question my actions (business, for example) and I am beginning to realize it is because I focus too intently on the results or outcome. I figure I will keep showing up and others who resonate will find me.

@Angie Bergen thank you! I needed this encouragement today.

@Suzanne Horrocks I do too - I have two main ones I go to and it's easier. However, I am beginning to look for more ways to alter some of these habits which have become so mundane it is hard to stay in the 'now' moment and I find myself thinking about the past or future rather than living in the present. When you alter your routine, even if the version of the store still sells the same product, etc., it won't have the same employees, etc, or if you go on a Saturday morning versus a Friday afternoon, the atmosphere will be different enough that you stay in the present more and for me, it is "more alive" ...

@Suzanne Horrocks thank you! I am learning all the time.