I hate having my notifications flooded with “new post”, ts rlly kills my desire to interact w things and it contributed to my burnout on week 2. I fuck w yall heavy. I just don’t fw these notifications

Sometimes it feels like all u need to bounce back from a burnout is a sleepless night leading to a active morning. I can’t count how many nights i done wasted in a doom scrolling hell just to snap back into myself the moment the sun rises and revitalizes me. Sometimes i go through the darkest parts of my mind at night, fighting demons and shit, just to feel like a reborn angel off the sleep deprivation high when its like 7-10 am But this is a inebriated state, sleep deprivation is not healthy and is equivalent to being drunk. It the vice that sustains me/tears me down when im sober I find myself living some of my best days off no sleep tbh. I don’t hesitate to do i just execute. I probably created this skool in tht state. This week Ive felt like shit. Like the inconsistency creeped back up on me and i gave into all the habits i was doing good by avoiding. But i didn’t relapse on weed, i just spent too much time scrolling my mind away to the point it made me not wanna exist. I know im too hard on myself n tht issa type of self sabotage, i let myself slip down slippery slopes off minor mistakes. But i can control these breaks. Im proving that to myself. I want whats good for myself

I didn't feel like posting today. And all the notification from new posts to other communities that i can't turn off make me wanna leave them but i don't wanna stop supporting the friends i got on here by leaving. I wish the settings on this app where better

Today I felt myself sinking into my couch watching TV and dodging my phones notifications. One of the most frustrating states that I can be in, start like that and end after a week of the same thing. Gradually upping the need for cheap dopamine until im also scrolling between YouTube shorts, Instagram reels, and TikToks while the tv is playing something. I recognize how this starts. I don't want to fall into the same trap. I think I spent today slacking because starting tomorrow I have classes, a passport renewal, and a 2nd round of interviews. And I have no idea how it's gonna look yo balance all the responsibilities and still make time for muay thai consistently. I sense the burnout inducing routine coming. A lot of busy days. on top of all this im on day 8 of 21 doing prayer and fasting. I was fasting from sun up to sun down which i changed today to overnight, from 9pm- 1pm the next day. I also wanna start tracking my calories. There's alot on my plate while there's little on it at the same time. . Idk, i think im just venting atp... Ur old habits sneak up on u and im just trying to dodge it and break the pattern some how. Looking at the bright side, at least im sober

One of the biggest themes in my life this year has been the tendency to victimize myself and to be extremely defensive. What I realize now, after a situation this week with my mom, is that being accountable and humble doesn’t include validating your actions. I’m learning why allowing yourself to be a victim is dangerous. The biggest reason is this, when someone is defended by others, or is defending themselves, they hurt back and offend without even realizing it, and lose the reason they had in the situation to be defending themselves in the first place. It’s very hard to be defensive without offending. It takes discipline and maturity. Think about how aggressive people get when they are held back from a fight. How much shit a little guy talks when they have a big guy to defend them. The bible teaches to turn the other cheek because if you let the pain of the past dictate your actions in the future, you will only bring more pain and suffering to yourself and others. The thoughts of self-righteous justice or revenge moving you forward and clouding your judgment and clarity over your actions will lead you to offend the same or more than the original offense. Be careful, don’t allow yourself to be a victim, choose to be bigger than that. Once you forgive all offenses you should not feel like a victim within yourself, but just a person in a situation. And it’s up to you to step away, breathe in, and defuse the situation before bringing a worse situation about.