Eighteen years ago, Kate and I travelled to Kerala, India for a course that changed far more than our professional lives… One afternoon, we visited the SOS Children’s Village to model the excellence of the team running it. While we were having tea, a young girl - 9 years old, sweeping the courtyard - walked over, smiled, and said: “Hello auntie, hello uncle.” In that moment, Sughandy walked straight into our hearts. We decided that day to sponsor her, support her education, and make sure she had everything she needed. Letters turned into phone calls, phone calls turned into video chats, and every year I travelled back to India to visit her. She worked hard, qualified as a nurse, and a few years ago moved to Galway, Ireland to work as a carer. There, she met a young man who she’ll be marrying this Saturday. This week, Kate, India, Keira and I will travel to India to give her away, the only four members of her family among 200 guests from her new husband’s side. I’ll share our journey here, on Instagram and Facebook. This is more than a trip. It’s the continuation of a promise we made 18 years ago.

What if the opposite of my most negative thoughts or assumptions is actually true? What would change in my current mood?

Hey all! Summer chaos and sizzling temperatures might be keeping everyone on the move, but if you missed the call — you’re in luck. We recorded it, and it’s bursting with everything you need to know about stepping into the NLP Master Practitioner and our unforgettable NLP Retreat in Turkey next May. Hit play, get inspired, and when you’re ready to secure your spot, email us at [email protected] or WhatsApp us on +44 (0)7920 836 439. Your next big breakthrough could start right here. Watch the video: https://netorgft1513539-my.sharepoint.com/:v:/g/personal/toby_macrebur_com/IQBMi5w0QPEFQJk43iMmbAfjAf_SZrtF18YelyNp2KgnG1s

We’ve all been there: booking a tropical beach getaway because we desperately need to "escape the daily grind," only to find ourselves a bit under-whelmed? Why do our dream holidays sometimes feel like a psychological mismatch? I believe the problem isn't the destination; it's our vocabulary when planning. Anyone who has worked with me in coaching or training knows I love Clean Language—a communication framework designed to strip away external assumptions and uncover what we actually mean. When applied to holiday planning, I think it could be better than Expedia! What is Clean Language? Developed by psychologist David Grove, Clean Language is a method of questioning that avoids introducing the speaker's own biases, metaphors, or expectations. Instead, it uses a person's exact words to help them explore their own internal landscape. When you apply this to yourself (or a travel partner/s), you stop asking generic questions like, "Should we go to Italy or Thailand?" and start unpacking your true unconscious desires. Unpacking the "Dream Holiday" We often use shorthand metaphors when booking travel, assuming everyone defines them the same way. Clean Language forces us to cross-examine those metaphors before hitting "book now." You say, "I just want to relax." - A Clean follow up Question: "And what kind of 'relax' is that 'relax'?" - The Reveal: For one person, "relax" means lying entirely still on a lounge chair. For another, it means wandering through an empty museum. Asking the question prevents you from booking a beach resort when you actually wanted a quiet city break. OR You say, "I need to recharge my batteries." - The Clean follow up Question: "And when you recharge, you are like what?" - The Reveal: You might realise your "battery" doesn't need passive rest; it needs high-energy inspiration, excellent food, and live music. OR what about The "Escape" Illusion: You say, "I want to get away from it all." - The Clean follow up Question: "And when you get away, what happens to 'it all'?" - The Reveal: If "it all" is digital burnout, a luxury hotel with high-speed Wi-Fi won't help. You need a literal off-grid cabin.

Before I answer that, let me explain why every NLP intervention needs a “control”, and what science teaches us about measuring change… In science, nothing is taken at face value. If you want to know whether something works, you don’t just test it — you compare it. You measure it against a control. A control is the baseline, the “normal,” the standard set of conditions you already understand. Without it, an experiment becomes guesswork. You might get a result, but you have no idea whether that result is meaningful. And this principle applies far beyond laboratories and test tubes. It applies directly to NLP, personal change work, and the question people love to ask: “Does NLP actually work?” Let’s break this down. The Science Analogy: Why Controls Matter Imagine I’m testing a new polymer additive in asphalt in my business (MacRebur Limited). I want to know whether a new additive improves strength, flexibility, durability — whatever my goal is. So I create two samples: • Control asphalt — the standard mix that’s always used • Experimental asphalt — the same mix, but with my polymer additive included I test both to a set of criteria and standard. I compare the results. If the polymer works, my experimental asphalt should outperform the control. If I didn’t have the control asphalt, I’d have no idea whether the polymer made any difference at all. Maybe the asphalt was always that strong. Maybe it was always that weak. Without comparison, the experiment is pointless. NLP Works the Same Way… When we use NLP tools — anchoring, reframing, submodalities, timeline work, language patterns — we are essentially running an experiment on human experience. But here’s the key: You cannot measure change unless you know what the experience was before the intervention. This is why NLP questions often presuppose comparison: • “How do you feel differently now, compared to before?” • “What’s different?” • “What’s changed?” • “What’s shifted?” These questions aren’t fluffy. They’re the NLP version of a scientific control.