We’ve all been there: booking a tropical beach getaway because we desperately need to "escape the daily grind," only to find ourselves a bit under-whelmed? Why do our dream holidays sometimes feel like a psychological mismatch? I believe the problem isn't the destination; it's our vocabulary when planning. Anyone who has worked with me in coaching or training knows I love Clean Language—a communication framework designed to strip away external assumptions and uncover what we actually mean. When applied to holiday planning, I think it could be better than Expedia! What is Clean Language? Developed by psychologist David Grove, Clean Language is a method of questioning that avoids introducing the speaker's own biases, metaphors, or expectations. Instead, it uses a person's exact words to help them explore their own internal landscape. When you apply this to yourself (or a travel partner/s), you stop asking generic questions like, "Should we go to Italy or Thailand?" and start unpacking your true unconscious desires. Unpacking the "Dream Holiday" We often use shorthand metaphors when booking travel, assuming everyone defines them the same way. Clean Language forces us to cross-examine those metaphors before hitting "book now." You say, "I just want to relax." - A Clean follow up Question: "And what kind of 'relax' is that 'relax'?" - The Reveal: For one person, "relax" means lying entirely still on a lounge chair. For another, it means wandering through an empty museum. Asking the question prevents you from booking a beach resort when you actually wanted a quiet city break. OR You say, "I need to recharge my batteries." - The Clean follow up Question: "And when you recharge, you are like what?" - The Reveal: You might realise your "battery" doesn't need passive rest; it needs high-energy inspiration, excellent food, and live music. OR what about The "Escape" Illusion: You say, "I want to get away from it all." - The Clean follow up Question: "And when you get away, what happens to 'it all'?" - The Reveal: If "it all" is digital burnout, a luxury hotel with high-speed Wi-Fi won't help. You need a literal off-grid cabin.

Our next ‘Walk and Talk’ will be on Friday 18th September 2026, the day before Toby’s NLP Foundation Day on the 19th September – and this time, we’re heading to London’s hidden side. Instead of the usual Lake District trail, we’ll spend the day walking and coaching around some of the city’s secret courtyards, quiet back streets, tucked‑away gardens and lesser‑known historic spots that most people walk past without ever noticing. Think colourful little squares, old ruins turned into peaceful green spaces, character-filled markets and riverside paths that feel a world away from the main roads. As we explore, you’ll get live NLP‑based coaching and leadership conversations: - Using the environment to notice your patterns and shift your state. - Practising presence, storytelling and confidence in real-world settings. - Reflecting on your direction, decisions and next steps while we walk. It’s part urban adventure, part coaching intensive, and part reset for your mind and body. You’ll come away with new perspectives, practical tools you can use immediately, and a different relationship with London itself. If you and your friends would like to join us for this London Walk and Talk, you can sign up for it here: https://buytickets.at/tobykatemccartneytrainingltd/2286545 You and your friends are also welcome to join Toby on the NLP Foundation Day on the following day (Saturday) so that you can make a couple of days from it. Here’s the sign up link: https://buytickets.at/tobykatemccartneytrainingltd/2285173 Oh, and both events are free so please pass these links around and let’s get a nice size group of us together. Hope to see you there.🥰

The last few weeks have changed me in the same capacity as when I first went through self-concept work in NLP, and I want to share why. It started with my job at the airline. Years ago, when this coworker first showed up with his nasty attitude of constant complaining and harassment, I was the only one who didn't let it slide. That's when he challenged me to a fight. He had no idea I train. I accepted right there, pulled out my phone, gave him my number, and we booked a time to meet. Other people had to pull him aside and tell him I train, and that's when his back suddenly started hurting and he backed off. Ever since then he's been trying to get under my skin and get back at me, unsuccessfully, since he can't physically or mentally take me. A few weeks ago he started bullying and harassing another coworker, and that's when I stepped in to defend them. He used it as his chance and filed an HR complaint trying to get me fired. He thought it would get me fired, but instead it kicked off a full investigation where both of us got suspended pending an investigation that might lead to termination. On paper that sounds like a disaster. In reality it was the permission I needed to admit something I'd been avoiding for a long time. That job was never aligned with who I am. The only real reason I kept it was the flight benefits, I was using them constantly. But this whole situation woke me up to a truth I needed to hear: if I build a successful business, I don't need a job for discount flights, I can just buy the tickets. Nobody I admire and look up to would ever go through what I went through for a discounted plane ticket. They make enough money to buy everybody in that break room a ticket and then some. That benefit was playing small. It was the last safety net I needed to let go of. The suspension didn't break me. It woke me up. Around the same time, I went through a separation from my girlfriend. I won't pretend it didn't hurt, but having real NLP tools to work through it made the difference between spiraling or progressing. I came out the other side stable. Running the resolving grief pattern gave me a real sense of appreciation for the time we had and for who she is, she's amazing, we just want different things out of life, which means we want different things out of each other.

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If you’re a leader, director, business owner, coach or manager right now, you’ll recognise this truth: Working harder is no longer the answer.And neither is attending another intensive course that gives you a temporary boost—only to return to the same pressures, habits, and overwhelm a few weeks later. Amy Jen Su, in The Leader You Want To Be, highlights that modern leadership isn’t about quick fixes or isolated learning moments. It’s about consistent evolution—developing self-awareness, emotional intelligence, and deliberate practice over time. It’s about aligning who you are with how you lead. And that’s exactly where traditional development programmes fall short. Why Intensive Courses Aren’t Enough: Most leadership training follows a familiar pattern: - A powerful 2–5 day course - A surge of insight and motivation - Then… back to reality Without ongoing structure, something critical is missing: - No accountability - No sustained practice - No real behaviour change Insight alone doesn’t create transformation. Leadership is a practice—not an event. What Today’s Leaders Actually Need: To become the leader you want to be, you need: 1. Continuous Coaching Because awareness is just the first step.Real growth happens when you are guided to: - Challenge your default thinking - Navigate pressure with clarity - Lead intentionally, not reactively 2. Accountability Without accountability, even the best intentions fade.You need structures that: - Keep you focused on what matters - Turn goals into consistent action - Prevent you slipping back into old patterns 3. Live Interaction & Feedback Leadership is relational. You don’t grow in isolation.You need: - Real-time feedback - Shared learning - The opportunity to test and refine your approach 4. Skill Application & Practice Knowing what to do isn’t enough you must: - Practise communication under pressure - Embed new behaviours - Rewire your responses