Breaktrough story · New Earth Community

Breaktrough story

Here is my raw dump breaktrhough story

Before:

I was 21 years old. When I got hip impingement first on my right hip and then on my left hip. Suddenly i had pain in my body, I couldn’t be a keeper at my soccer team anymore. I couldn’t go to party’s anymore. I couldn’t do my work anymore. In a span of 5 years. I had open-surgery’s on both hips. I needed to do rehabilitations. There was almost a constant stress, fear and anger inside me. I was checking my phone a lot of the time a day. I was masturbating and watching porn on a daily basis. I was gaming 3, 4 hours a day, I was smoking weed, drinking alcohol, eating a lot of food, I was smoking cigarettes, I was pleasing my girlfriend a lot to get love, I had a unhealthy relationship with sex, I couldn’t sit more then 10 minutes, I didn’t see a lot of friends anymore. Most have the days I was spending home alone. I was depressed, I had suicidal thoughts.

Crisis:

The first moment that disrupted everything was that the doctor and the physio where telling me to stop smoking because it held back my rehabilitation. I thought I don’t want to live this life anymore. I want to be healthy. I want to be able to work, have fun, move my body in a normal way. I didn´t want to be victim anymore and create my own live. It felt like energy came back to my body I got my mind clearer and a focus on my goals the get healthier. Later on I found out about spirituality and the mind and body connection. This changed my perspective on life and the world around me. Suddenly everything was different.

Chase:

I started working out and listened to the physio’s advices, I was cycling a lot and putting my body in the working state, I stopped smoking cigarets and weed, I got to eating healthier, I stopped gaming, I broke up with my ex, I got different friends, I started doing yoga and learning about spirituality, I changed my thoughts into more positive by doing breathwork and meditation, I Started doing work what I wanted to do because I felt passion for it. I started traveling again, I started to hold my body in a fit as possible state. I started to be spaceholder, a yogateacher, a fitnesinstructor, a meditation teacher, a breathwork instructor, I started facilitate workshops at beautiful events. I learned about tantra, I learned to say my yes and no, For most of the time stop pleasing. I learned to be in my body, I learned to work with sexual energy, I learned to feel and regulate my emotions. I tried to path of pranic living and cleaned a lot of my cells in the body.

Conflict:

The hardest moment in this process was the change of suddenly not being able to do anything what i was used to do. I had a lot of pain in my hips and back. I got depressed. I toke pills to stop my depression and help me stop smoking. But It got me suicidal thoughts. I was scared of these thoughts. I never wanting to feel that again. Eventually I found myself on a breakingpoint. There was a power inside this darkness. The power of wanting to feel a live. To live the life that I want to life. I needed to look at my thoughts and change them. But the mind don´t like change so he always wants to pull me back to save and comfort life. But I felt so much more powerfull. I felt like there is a lion inside of me. So I let out the lion and started doing what I needed to do.

Breakthrough:

The breaktrough came when I did yoga and learned about spirituality, I got the realization I can heal my own body. When I have irritation in my hips and back. I know I have build up some tension in myself, in my body and mind. Because I thought i needed something from the outside world or i did to much or i had a trigger. Every time I notice this I go back to myself and start feeling what I have pressed away. And when I do my hips and back start to relax. And I can feel the love in myself again. Also I realized that this hip injury came from a bigger source. In a meditation at a retreat. I saw the connection of my father and my hip and it strucked me. I realised the hip injury came after my father wasn’t there anymore because my parents where divorced when I was 17 years old.

After:

The biggest transformation is that, I can feel that we are all connected. I can feel connection with people, I can feel the connection with the trees, plants, animals, the earth, I can feel lifeforce inside of my body. And that this lifeforce can heal my body. I can feel love inside of me and by being my authentic self I started to inspire other people and let other people feel loved. I found my tribe, like-minded people. Because of my story i gave work-out group lessons, started teaching yoga, breathwork, meditation and now slowly tantra, I learned to spacehold. I can dance freely with a healthy and fit body, I Learned to be present and grounded. I am now able to speak in front of large groups. I am able to regulate my emotions. So I don’t have to avoid them anymore. I inspire people by just being myself. My crazy, humoristic, chaotic, playfull, wild, loving authentic self.

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