Expression > depression · New Earth University

24d • Wins

Expression > depression

This human experience is so silly.

I understand now what J Cole meant when he said “Beauty in the struggle, ugliness in the success.”

I’m leaving behind my struggle era—-stepping out of the darkness & I feel like a mess. Success is so odd after years of fighting to do your best. I had my first art show about a month ago——nothing too serious, but it meant a lot to me. Art and nature have been my main outlets in life. Over the last few years, it’s all I really have focused on😆 Mother Nature holds and grounds me, while art provided me an outlet for my pain. I don’t really know how to talk about myself or my life, but I can say that I really wasn’t okay for awhile. The combination of rejection from my Mom & years of an emotionally abusive relationship——left me pretty beat. I felt tired of life when I was only a child. But I never gave up on myself. The thought that one day I could be in a position to help others move through their dark nights of the soul is what motivated me to keep creating. And now that my art is starting to get attention, it feels so weird. Like my art is a compilation of endless nights of crying myself to sleep or not being able to sleep at all. And it’s so silly because my art is so bright & so am I. I feel misunderstood in the sense that I feel that people don’t realize I’m actually an extremely dark person. Or at least, I’ve faced extreme darkness—-something I don’t really care to speak on because I just want to spread my light. You can only shine as bright as the depths of the darkness you’ve faced. That sums up me hehe. So here I am, feeling for the girl who wasn’t seen when she most needed to be. It feels surreal to have all these opportunities opening for me. After my first art show, which was soooo magical (I united opposing family members and it was so full of love)… I got a bit overwhelmed because I know it’s only up from here. A part of me was like noooo I just want to keep being invisible. Like it’s so silly and paradoxical. All in all, I feel so loved and I’m getting used to the light❤️ I am working on opening up to the world because I’ve realized that I am an important person (we all are). & it looks like I’ll be hosting creativity calls, hell yeah!

I look forward to meeting yall and finally opening up after years of hermit mode😂 I look forward to helping people tap back into their creativity & flowing with yall 🦋

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