Aug 23 • Parents of Neurodivergent Kids
Quick Guide: Talking to Schools About IEPs
1. Before the Call
• Write down your top 3 concerns right now (behaviour, learning, support staff, sensory needs, etc.).
• Keep a notebook or notes app open, you’ll forget less if you jot while they talk.
• Have last year’s IEP nearby for reference.
2. Core Questions to Ask Every Time
1. What’s working well from the current IEP?
2. What isn’t working or hasn’t been put in place yet?
3. How is progress being measured (tests, teacher observation, daily logs)?
4. Who is responsible for making sure each part actually happens?
How often will we get updates on progress?
3. Things to Check Specifically
• Support staff: Is there consistent 1-to-1 or small group help? Any staff changes?
• Environment: Are there sensory breaks, quiet spaces, or seating adjustments?
• Communication: How will the school keep you in the loop? (calls, emails, home-school diary)
• Targets: Are they realistic, specific, and meaningful or vague like “improve concentration”?
• Therapies: Speech, OT, counselling: are these written in, or just “suggested”?
4. Extra Questions Parents Often Forget
• How will the IEP link to long-term goals (next stage of school, exams, independence)?
• What training have staff had about my child’s needs?
• How can I support the IEP at home and how can school support us at home?
• If something isn’t working, how quickly can it be reviewed instead of waiting a full year?
5. During the Call
• Repeat back key points to check you heard right.
• Ask them to put any big decisions or promises in writing.
• End with: “What’s the next step and who will contact me about it?”
6. After the Call
• Write a short summary (date, who you spoke to, what was said, next steps).
• Send a quick email: “Thanks for today, just to confirm we agreed… [list].” This protects you if things slip.
Key Areas to Cover in Every IEP Discussion
1. Academic / Learning
• How is work adapted for their level?
• Are tasks broken down into smaller steps?
• Are alternative methods used (visuals, technology, practical learning)?
• How are they being assessed - same tests as peers, or adapted?
2. Social Development
• Do they have structured help to build friendships?
• Is there support during unstructured times (break, lunch)?
• Are staff aware of difficulties with social cues, group work, or playground dynamics?
3. Emotional & Behavioural
• What’s in place if they become anxious, overwhelmed, or shut down?
• Do staff recognise early signs before a meltdown?
• Who can they go to if they feel unsafe or upset?
• Is there a plan for positive reinforcement and consequences?
4. Communication
• How do teachers check understanding?
• Are they supported in expressing needs, asking for help, or saying no?
• If non-verbal or limited speech: what’s in place (PECS, AAC, visuals, prompts)?
5. Independence / Life Skills
• Are they encouraged to do things on their own where possible (organisation, managing belongings, moving between classes)?
• Is support faded gradually when safe?
• Are they learning skills that will carry beyond school (planning, problem-solving)?
6. Health & Sensory
• Are breaks built into the day (movement, sensory, calm space)?
• Are adjustments made for sensory triggers (noise, lights, crowds)?
• Do staff know medical needs or triggers that can affect learning?
7. Home–School Connection
• How often will updates come, and in what form?
• Is there a key person I always contact?
Write a list of the most important things you feel you need to ask that are relevant to your child. You won’t need them all.
Remember, we usually only get around 15-20 minutes to discuss this.
It’s important to ask what you feel is the most important for your child’s wellbeing and development, don’t worry too much about trying to ask too much at once.
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Quick Guide: Talking to Schools About IEPs
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