Part of the assignment was to slow down and get clear on what I’d want each member of my family to say about me. That part felt grounding. Hopeful. Connecting. I felt grateful. And then came the curveball I didn’t see coming. “What are the things you are doing that the typical husband or dad is not doing?” I just sat there. Wide-eyed. My first thought was:…shit. I don’t know. Because if I’m honest, my brain immediately went to everything I struggle with: I’m inattentive. I’m often self focused. My nervous system gets overwhelmed easily. Im snappy I have time blindness I started life a decade behind my biological peers. I leave cabinet doors open. I forget birthdays and appointments I hyperfocus on things that don’t always serve me—knives, backpacks, keyboards. I’m impulsive. And when I stripped all that away and asked the harder question Am I actually doing anything different than a typical husband or dad? The answer felt uncomfortably close to no. Yes, I show up. Yes, I engage. Yes, I work on myself almost every day trying to understand who I am, how ADHD shows up in my life, and how it impacts the people I love. I attempt to take the things others tell me and show up more aware. Conscientious. There’s a quote that says having ADHD is working twice as hard to get half as far, while being told you’re not trying hard enough. But for most of my life, I’ve been fighting and clawing just to reach baseline. And baseline is exhausting. That’s part of the trap for those of us with ADHD: We start believing the baseline is the goal. I once said I was doing better than my parents at awareness, connection, participation. Someone replied, “And that’s the goal?” That one hit hard. Because the answer is no. Because there is still room to grow Especially when others closet to you need you to. This isn't about shame Or guilt Or not being good enough. This is about what is takes to be the husband and father I want to be. Desire to be. This is about who I want to be now

Ever feel like the world is working against your brain? There’s a reason. Our systems school, work, even family expectations were built for one kind of mind: linear, consistent, predictable. But ADHD brains? We’re not built on straight lines. We run on variable attention, creativity, rapid pattern recognition, intuition, and high-focus only when something actually matters. And here’s the real problem: We’re taught to succeed using systems designed for brains that don’t work like ours. It’s like telling someone who needs glasses to squint. A dyslexic to just slow down. A diabetic to produce more insulin. A man in a wheelchair to take the stairs. The issue is the effort. It is the faulty architecture. Our classrooms reward sameness. Our workplaces reward monotony. Our culture rewards consistency over creativity. And at home? Marriage rewards safety over unpredictability. Even with the best intentions, inconsistency feels unsafe to the people who depend on your follow-through. Not because they don’t love you. But because nervous systems respond to patterns, not promises. This is the clash not between you and your family but between your ADHD wiring and the expectations you were never trained to meet. But here’s the truth: ADHD brains thrive on…• novelty meaningful challenge movement connection dopamine-supported structure rest that actually recharges systems that work with our wiring Today’s video isn’t a complaint. Not about being a victim to the system. But a declaration. A declaration to understand. You don’t need to fix your brain. You need systems that finally fit your brain. If you’ve ever wondered: “Why do I struggle in the exact systems everyone else seems to thrive in?”…this is why. And it’s time to rewrite the blueprint. Let’s get into it.

This is where the work starts to work. You’ve made it this far 17 days in. And right about now… it’s normal to feel it. The dip. The boredom. The “I’ll catch up tomorrow.” The quiet voice whispering, “Does this even matter?” It does. This is where new habits start to form —right past the point where old ones used to quit. Your brain is fighting for the familiar. But your heart? It’s learning a new rhythm. You have built awareness Have practiced discipline Now it’s time to take heart. Because real growth doesn’t always feel like winning. Sometimes it feels like dragging yourself forward one small promise at a time. This is the middle — the forge. Where old patterns burn off and new ones begin to form. Reflection:“Where do I usually quit — and what’s one small thing I can keep doing today?” Why It Matters: The ADHD brain craves novelty but transformation comes through consistency. This is where you prove to yourself that the new version of you isn’t built on motivation, shame, guilt, fear, anger... It is built with heart. You are not behind. You are building. Take heart, stay steady, and keep showing up. The man you’re becoming is built right here in the middle.

Let me tell you what I’m learning lately… For a long time, I felt broken. Every day felt like I was behind — chasing something I couldn’t catch .Running hard, collapsing harder. Then carrying all the shame for not keeping up. I was living in the story build on the traditional normative framework: “There’s a defect. I must fix it.” “If I do good → I’m good.”“If I do bad → I’m bad.” But ADHD isn’t a isnt a flaw. It is a brain that was never explained — just blamed. I spent years trying to fix what looked wrong on the outside. Turns out, I just needed to stop fighting the way I was built. The moment I stopped forcing a “normal” routine and started designing for my wiring - everything shifted I’m not broken. I’m just wired for a different rhythm. When I build for hyper‑focus and rest… When I honor the way my brain cycles through energy… When I let go of shame and get curious about the pattern…I feel different. I move different. I lead different. So now… I don’t fight ADHD. I leverage it. Not just to survive the day — but to build forward. Instead of: Trying to eliminate the “symptoms”I’m learning to leverage them: 💥 For Dopamine — I design my day with small wins, movement, and novelty. 🎯 For Hyperfocus — I block time, limit distractions, and go deep. For a Fast Brain with Slow Brakes — I slow the transition, not the momentum. 🌪️ For Emotional Intensity — I pre-label my emotions before they take over. ⏰ For Time Blindness — I use external timers and visible clocks. (Still have work to do here) 🔭 For Monotropism — I respect the deep dive before expecting a pivot. And I also leverage for understanding: 💬 Alexithymia — I learn the language of my body before it shuts down. 🛠️ Production-based Identity — I remind myself: rest is also productive. 🏠 Context Shifting — I examine how ADHD shows up at work, home, and play. 📉 The Overwhelm of Crowds and Boredom — I name the dissonance of what I dont want and what I do. 🧱 Criticism + Rebellion Wiring — I stop reacting to imagined judgment.

Awareness + Pause = Responding from the Heart. You have learned to be aware You have learned to pause. Now it’s time to connect those two, to bring your awareness into the moment before you speak. Because most of the damage in relationships doesn’t come from what we feel. It comes from what we say when we are flooded. That split-second between emotion and reaction that is where love either builds or breaks. 🧠 WHY THIS MATTERS (FOR ADHD DADS) You have probably noticed this pattern: You feel misunderstood, criticized, or dismissed. Your heart spikes. Your brain scrambles to make sense of it. Words fly before your values catch up. Then comes the guilt. The distance. The shame. You don’t want to hurt anyone but your emotions hit fast, and your mouth moves faster. That’s not bad intent. That’s a brain-body mismatch. The ADHD nervous system feels deeply and reacts quickly. So if you want to lead with heart you have to slow the transfer. TODAY’S MISSION: THE PAUSE BEFORE THE WORD When you feel that wave hit frustration, defensiveness, hurt, irritation Try this sequence: 1️⃣ Awareness:Catch it early. Name it: “I’m feeling the flood right now.” 2️⃣ Pause: Breathe once. Unclench your jaw. Drop your shoulders. Feel your feet on the floor. 3️⃣ Respond from the Heart :Ask yourself before speaking: “Do I want to be right, or do I want to be close?” “Is what I’m about to say going to build trust or burn it?” Then choose words that reflect who you want to be not just what you feel in that second. Reflection: “Today, I caught myself before reacting.I chose to respond with calm instead of defense.That felt like strength, not silence.” WHY THIS MATTERS (FOR FAMILY) Your awareness shows maturity. Your pause shows control. Your response shows love. And when your family sees all three working together they start to trust your heart again. Not the words you promise. The consistency they feel. That’s how connection starts to rebuild one calm breath between emotion and expression.