Hope its ok to post this on here today my heads feeling very loud emotions all over the place x Graham we had 25 beautiful years together — years I will always carry in my heart. Today would have marked 27, and my heart still counts them because my love for you never stopped. You are deeply missed, every day, in the quiet and in the small moments. Thank you for caring for me, for being your grumpy, loving self, for being mine. Always loved. Always missed. Always part of me. Love you to moon and back always and forever💖

Although I’ve lost friends and family over the years, each loss hits a little different. 7/5/24..not only did that day effect me, it changed me in ways I never thought I would. I lost that spark, i don’t know if I’ll never get that back but what I do know is I wouldn’t have made it this far if it wasn’t for coming across Toni’s live just a week after my loss. I took that step and signed up for the online course and it is life changing. And what’s great is you can replay it over and over, for the extra little reminder, to keep going! I am so glad I can be a part of an amazing community of beautiful souls.

I have started this at least 3x!! Ugh Grief today is me trying to move through emotions: feeling it and trying to keep pace with friends that assume I’m fine. They mean no harm to me, I’m not good at emotions when it comes to myself.

I loss my fiancé in 2012 when I was 23 an he was 27! I’ve seen multiple therapist, grief groups, pray and lean on God. Mike passed in car accident it was sudden. I had to sell our home we just got in March of 2012, and he passed in Oct 2012. We were suppose to get married in Dec. 2012. Recently, I have reconnected with his younger brother. Which he is now the same age as fiancé Mike passed. Now his Dad can terminal cancer. I haven’t seen them in years. I am now married. My husband didn’t want me to see them. Mike dad was like a father to me, I want to go see him, but I don’t want to disrespect my husband. I miss fiancé all time. I personally don’t think I will get over my first love. Even Mike birthday day is day after mine. We are Gemini soul mates it’s even on his grave. I personally I am at a loss on what to do.

Hey everyone — welcome. I’m really glad you’re here. I’m only a few days into Skool myself, so we’re building this space together — not arriving at something polished. And that matters, because grief rarely shows up neat or finished. This community is different from my TikTok for one reason: TikTok is for awakening. This space is for integration. Here are a few grief truths I want to offer as you settle in — things I don’t usually share publicly: 1. Grief doesn’t need to be pushed out or bottled up — it needs to be held Healing doesn’t come from constant release. It comes from learning how to let grief be present without it overwhelming you. That’s not suppression. That’s capacity. 2. If grief gets louder at night, nothing is wrong Night removes distraction. Your nervous system finally has room to feel. This isn’t regression — it’s your body asking for gentleness, not fixing. 3. Healing isn’t closure — it’s authorship Most people stay stuck reacting to loss. Healing begins when the question shifts from: “Why did this happen?” to: “Who am I becoming in response to this?” That shift changes how grief lives inside you. 4. You don’t need to be strong — you need support Strength exhausts people. Support stabilizes people. This space is about building: - emotional steadiness - language for what you’re experiencing - internal safety - meaning that doesn’t erase love or pain A gentle invitation You don’t need to share your whole story. If you want, introduce yourself with one sentence: “Right now, grief feels like ______.” No fixing. No advice. Just being witnessed. I’m really glad you’re here. We’ll move at a human pace. — Toni