Piggy backing off of @Toni Filipone post Art is my journal. It says the things my brain can’t articulate…… the story that created this piece Grief in the undertow When people talk about grief, they often describe it as a wave. Most imagine a single, massive form, but in reality, a wave is made up of countless tiny, complex water molecules coming together to create something immense. Grief is much the same: it’s made up of all the small, intricate experiences and emotions that, together, form the vastness of our sorrow. Like water, grief can be overwhelming. A tidal wave can sweep through and destroy everything in its path, leaving only devastation behind. Grief, too, can wreak havoc on every part of life it touches. And yet, just as the waters recede, there is always the possibility to rebuild, to create something new from what was lost.

In a group talk I shared how as an autistic person too much information can be overwhelming in everyday life. Once grief is added the information reaches high levels and everything is a mish mash. I'm not sure if it resonates with people who aren't. I have words circling in my head constantly and some from years ago. https://share.google/kEcWP0rzbz0CSmJgb

I don’t know if I’m numb or more not caring anymore that I’ve lost too many people in the last couple years. My two major loses are my mom 09/16/22 and just recently my grandmother 01/21/26. But also I’ve lost 2 aunts, and a few other family members. I can’t seem to accept that my grandma is no longer here, and because I’m struggling with that, I feel I haven’t been able to grieve for a cousin I lost that same day. This morning I found out another relative passed away last night, and it’s like I feel nothing. Trying to accept the losses while also dealing with my mental health has me feeling lost, confused and so exhausted with life.

My reminder for the day… and maybe it can be yours too… There’s something about stepping outside and letting your feet touch the earth that feels different. Quiet… in a way your body recognizes before your mind can catch up. Because grief? Grief will turn you into a full on train wreck… and your body said,…. “perfect, I’ll make it chaotic.” Random aches. No sleep. Emotions with zero supervision. And the wild part is… it doesn’t just live in your thoughts. It settles into your body your chest, your shoulders, your stomach. It tightens… and it stays. To the point you barely recognize yourself… or your own nervous system. But the earth it won’t ask anything from you. You don’t have to explain your grief. You don’t have to have it together. You don’t even have to be okay. You just stand there…… Barefoot in the grass. Sun on your skin. Breathing a little deeper than you have in days. And without even trying your shoulders drop. Your breath slows. Grief is still there… but so are you. Still here……. Still breathing……. Still connected……. So if today feels heavy… go outside. Let the earth meet you exactly where you are. That’s enough….. just know your seen and your loved ! 🤍🤍🤍