5d • General discussion
“Go Big” or Go Buy a Frappuccino:
Why Your Goals Are Broken... (and How to Fix Them)”
Let’s start with a hard truth wrapped in a marshmallow;
Most people’s (and business) goals are about as ambitious as a hungover sloth on a Tuesday after a Bank Holiday all night bender.
You’ve heard them. “I want to write a book.” “I might try to start a side hustle… someday.” “It’d be nice to grow the business so I can spend more time with the family.”
What are we doing? Manifesting or mildly daydreaming while watching Bake Off?
The Curse of the “Meh” Goal
Here’s what’s wrong with tiny, tepid, undercooked goals:
They don’t scare you, stretch you... or excite you.
They’re the tofu of ambition, technically doing something, but no one’s really buying into it. Tiny goals don’t get you out of bed.
Massive goals launch you out of bed like a Tazmanian devil on Red Bull.
I’ve spent over two decades speaking to more than a million people across the globe. From top CEOs to terrified high school students, and there’s one thing I’ve learned: Big goals change lives. Small goals change very little, if anything.
Let’s unpack this with a few real-life clangers I’ve heard over the years:
• “My goal is to read one book this year.”
Mate. That’s not a goal. That’s forgetting your Netflix password.
• “I want to be more confident… eventually.”
Cool. When’s that? After you get reincarnated as Tom Cruise?
• “I want to save a grand over the next five years.”
Unless you’re a squirrel burying peanuts, I think we can aim higher.
Why We Set Smaller, Realistic Goals
There’s a reason people set these half-hearted, beige goals. Three reasons, in fact:
1. Fear of failure – If I aim low, I can’t fail.
2. Fear of judgment – If I aim high and tell people, I might look stupid.
3. Lack of belief – I’m not good/smart/skinny/posh enough.
These are very human. Very real, and very solvable. But here’s the thing:
Playing small doesn’t protect you—it robs you. It robs you of your potential, possibly your joy, and 100% your impact. And maybe worst of all…
It makes us, well, a little bit boring.
Imagine Your Funeral
This sounds dark, but bear with me. Imagine your funeral. (Yes, yes, everyone’s crying. The catering has gluten-free sandwiches, and cream cakes. Great.)
Someone stands up to speak about your life. What do you want them to say?
• “Brian was a good bloke. He mostly stuck to his to-do lists and always took reusable bags when shopping.”
OR
• “Brian lived big. He tried wild things. He failed big. He won big. He helped people. And he once ran a marathon dressed as Elvis for charity.”
Set goals that make that eulogy happen.
Big Goals = Big Growth
Here’s a viewpoint held by many top achievers I have interviewed over 28 years: It’s not about achieving the goal. It’s more about who you become in the pursuit of it. Set a goal so big it scares the **** out of you to share it, and you’ll grow into someone you barely recognise (in a good way, not like when you try a new haircut and immediately regret it).
Want to write a book? Speak on stage? Build a business?
Even if you don’t hit the perfect target, you’ll be ten times further
than if you’d stayed glued to the sofa watching reruns of Homes Under the Hammer.
The Goldfish Myth
Someone once told me humans have the attention span of a goldfish. Nonsense. Goldfish don’t build rockets. Goldfish don’t survive the Summer holidays with a special needs child. Goldfish don’t binge-watch four series of Breaking Bad in a weekend. They also do not have thumbs so they can’t even pick stuff up?!
Goldfish are just lame.
We don’t lack focus. We lack something worth focusing on. Big goals give you focus. Suddenly, you have a “why you must” that is bigger than your fears around it, and slaps harder than your nan’s slipper.
The Toilet Roll Principle
Ever noticed when the toilet roll is nearly finished, people suddenly become geniuses of conservation? One square per person. Folded like origami. It’s basically a PhD in rations. Why? Because there’s urgency. Big goals create a similar urgency. They light a fire under your excuses. Suddenly, “I don’t have time” becomes “I found 3 hours by deleting Instagram and telling Netflix to jog on.”
• Big goals sharpen your thinking.
• They make you resourceful.
• They make you brave.
The “What If I Fail?” Crowd
Failure is inevitable. Want a motivational quote for your vision board? “You’ll probably fail. And that’s brilliant” probably. You’ll fall on your face. Often... or is that just me? But here’s the trade-off: With massive goals, your worst-case scenario is still going to be a league or two above most people’s best-case ambition. If you aim for Everest and land halfway up, you’re still higher than the local hillwalkers who set out to conquer “slightly improved self-esteem.”
Here’s a better question than “What if I fail?”
Ask: “What if I succeed beyond anything I imagined?”
Because people LIKE US … like you… do. Every single day.
The “Microwave Success” Myth
We live in a world of air fryers and a basic human need being a good Wi-Fi connection. Everyone seems to need quick results. But big goals aren’t fast food, they’re in most cases, a slow roast. They take time, patience, effort… and occasionally a meltdown in the car park of Aldi. That’s normal, isn’t it?
Isn’t it?
But the payoff? Oh, the payoff is sweet.
Purpose. Confidence. Momentum.
You become one of those people who are exciting to be, and be around.
You’ll start hearing weird phrases like:
• “You’re so driven.”
• “You’re always doing something amazing.”
• “How do you get so much done? Do you sleep?!”
(You don’t, really. But you do take naps like an otter. No idea where I was going with the otter vibe, but hope it raised a smile?)
Three Quick Steps to Setting Bigger Goals
Right. Let’s get practical.
1. Ask Yourself: What Would Scare Me a Bit?
If your goal makes you slightly sweaty just thinking about it… GOOD.
That’s your brain realising it matters.
2. Make It Specific and Stupidly Big
“I want to speak on 100 paid stages in 2 years.”
“Grow my business by 50% this year.”
“I want to raise £10k for charity by doing something ridiculous.”
“I want to write a book that hits bestseller status.”
That kind of stupid-big. The kind that makes people raise an eyebrow and ask, “Are you serious?”
3. Tell Someone (Who Isn’t a Mood Hoover)
Declare it publicly. Accountability is jet fuel.
But tell someone who will believe in you, not roll their eyes and say “That’s a bit much, isn’t it?”
(Mood Hoovers must be avoided at all costs. They will suck the joy right out of your mojo.)
Final Thought: Be the Weirdo
Let’s be real—most people won’t do this.
They’ll nod politely, say “That’s nice,” and go back to scrolling memes and watching videos on TikTok of cats falling off tables, and hoping things magically improve.
Don’t be most people. Be the weirdo.
Be the one who goes after something massive.
Be the one with the glint in their eye and the terrifying whiteboard covered in plans.
Be the one who fails gloriously, wins unexpectedly, and lives
loudly.
Because the world doesn’t need more beige.
It needs more big, bold, banana-pants goals.
So next time you sit down to plan your life, don’t ask “What’s realistic?”
Ask:
“What’s ridiculous... but might just work?”
Then go do it.
To find out how to get the support and accountability you need to grow your speaking and coaching business, drop me a message and ask about the benefits of my peer mastermind group.
David Hyner
Professional Speaker | Author | Goal Setting Researcher
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