Here's the thing about making plans. I came into 2026 ready. Like, ready ready. I had my goals mapped out, my content batched, my intentions set. I was going to hit the ground running.... build the community, launch the program, show up consistently. I felt that familiar buzz of momentum, that "let's do this" energy that comes with a fresh start. And then life said: "Not so fast." First, the dog I was babysitting went missing. A windstorm blew the door open and she was just... gone. Two full days. The longest two days of my life. I was in the middle of hosting the Root to Rise immersion trying to hold space for other women to ground and come home to themselves, while my own nervous system was in complete overdrive. Searching the streets of Bali, calling her name, posting everywhere, barely sleeping. She came back eventually, but I was wrecked. Then I found out the apartment I'd planned to live in for the entire year? I have to move out in February. The place I'd just settled into, where I'd finally unpacked my altar and arranged my space exactly how I wanted it, and now I get to do it all over again. And between those two things, a dozen other small disruptions. Plans shifting. Things not going the way I thought they would. The kind of month where every time you think you've caught your breath, something else comes up. I used to spiral when this happened. I used to think it meant I was doing something wrong. That I wasn't aligned. That the universe was testing me or punishing me or blocking me somehow. I'd panic, try to control everything tighter, force things back on track. But here's what I'm learning (and re-learning, because these lessons keep coming back until we truly embody them): Life doesn't care about your plan. It cares about your growth. And sometimes growth looks like learning to trust when everything feels uncertain. So instead of fighting it, instead of white-knuckling my way through January, forcing myself to stick to the plan I made when the year was still shiny and new, I softened my grip.

December always does this thing where everything speeds up... the holiday plans, the pressure and deadlines, the emotions of being home with family and knowing I am going to say goodbye again soon... And at the same time, I naturally start reflecting on my year. I look at who I’ve been, who I’m becoming, and what I want for myself. And I love that part of this month... But in these reflections, I am seeing a truth that I can’t ignore: I can’t become the next version of myself if I’m still holding onto the old one. She was built for a different chapter of my life, and I’m not in that chapter anymore. One thing I’ve really had to face this year is how easily I distract myself from the things that actually matter. I’ll tell myself I’m “busy,” or I “don’t have time,” when really, I’m avoiding the thing that scares me. I can look back and see so many moments where instead of working on something important, something that mattered to me, something that asked more of me... I’d drift into tasks that felt easier, safer, less confronting. And underneath all of that? Fear. Fear of being seen. Fear of putting out something imperfect. Fear of stepping into the version of me who actually wants more. I’m realizing I can’t take that with me into 2026. It's time to let go, and create space for the next version of me. I’m letting go of the feeling that everything needs to be perfect before I share it. I’m letting go of the habit of hiding behind “busyness.” I’m letting go of the tightness in my chest that tells me, “Don’t try this yet. It’s not ready. You’re not ready.” Letting go, for me, has shown up in these tiny, honest moments where I can feel my old pattern activate. It’s a real physical thing, the tightness in my chest, that wave of anxiety right before I say yes to something I don’t have capacity for… or right before I avoid something I actually want. And it’s in those moments that I see the truth: I can’t choose differently if I’m not present, and I can't let go if I keep choosing the old patterns.

This month, I keep returning to the theme of safety, and by safety, I don’t mean external stability or having everything “figured out.”I mean the felt sense of being safe within yourself. In my experience, this is one of the most essential foundations for sustainable transformation. Because yes, we can use every tool and technique to manage stress or navigate moments of trigger… but if we don’t feel fundamentally safe with ourselves, we will always default back into old patterns. And a lack of internal safety doesn’t only show up as nervous system dysregulation. That’s the internal experience. Externally, it can look like: - not feeling safe to be fully seen, so you hide or dim parts of yourself - not feeling safe to be heard, so you silence your opinions, truth, story - not trusting your voice, your choices, or your intuition - holding back because you fear the consequences of being the real you - believing that slowing down means you’ll fall behind, lose momentum, or fall apart We were never meant to live in a constant state of bracing, pushing, rushing, or running on stress. That way of living is not only unsustainable; it’s quietly and visibly draining the life out of you. **So the deeper question becomes** How do we rebuild safety in a body that’s been conditioned for years to live in overdrive… and in a self that learned to hide, dim, or silence itself just to survive? And before we get into the “how,” we need to understand why. Your body learned these patterns for a reason. Your high drive, your vigilance, your perfectionism, your tendency to stay busy, these were protective strategies. They formed during times when being softer, slower, or more open did not feel safe (usually a patter of this, not just a one-off). Your system chose survival over authenticity, protection over presence. And that was intelligent, adaptive, loving, even. This is where compassion comes in. Because you cannot build safety in a body you’re still judging.

This space is where we pause, look inward, and get honest with ourselves. Each month, we’ll focus on one reflection topic, something that helps you build deeper self-awareness or strengthen your feminine embodiment. The goal is simple: to help you understand yourself better, trust yourself more, and grow in a way that actually lasts. If there’s a topic you want to explore here, share it in the comments. Your voice helps shape this space. 🦋