The Performance That Keeps You Lonely

Let’s tell the truth.

Most of us don’t actually want love. Not at first.

We want to be chosen.

To finally hear someone say, “You’re it. You’re enough.”

Somewhere along the way, our nervous system learned a dangerous equation:

Chosen = Safe.

Desired = Valuable.

Wanted = Worthy.

So we chase what feels like redemption.

The unavailable one. The complicated one. The one we have to earn.

Because if we can get them to choose us, maybe the old wound will finally close.

But that’s not love.

That’s performance.

And performance always ends in exhaustion.

Real love won’t demand your proof.

It will ask for your presence.

So I’m curious...

Where have you noticed this performance show up in your relationships?

Do you still feel the pull to be “chosen,” or have you started to choose differently?

Drop your reflections below ... I’ll be reading every one.

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